Scams - je zou ze NIET moeten gebruiken, maar in geval van nood....( straffe toeren)

Gecko

Well-Known Member
;)Ik heb een boek gekocht en die heet "Forbidden Knowledge Travel - 101 things NOT every traveler should know how to do", geschreven door Michael Powell en ik ben van plan de "scams" met jullie te delen.
Het is in het Engels geschreven, maar ik ben zeker dat het voor jullie geen probleem is. Eerst ga ik "the Introduction" overschrijven, zo kunnen jullie weten wat er te verwachten staat :

"There are lots of travel books that tell you how to do stuff that you really should know how to do, like exchange currency or rent a car. But have you ever wondered about the things that you really should NOT know, like talk your way past a border guard, crash a nude beach, protect against a tiger attack, or pick up a ladyboy in Bangkok?

Do you know how to smoke on an airplane without being caught, how to go about finding a lost Amazonian tribe, how to join an anti-whaling crew, sneak into Mecca, or buy a human kidney in the Philippines ? Now we're not suggesting that you go out and start being a riotous menace, but that doesn't stop you from being curious about how it's done, right ? This book has been written in the same spirit as one might sell a pimp suit to a priest - the information will pique your curiosity, but we hope that you'll never have the occasion to use it.

In this outrageous handbook, the informations are road tested, from the ridiculous to the downright illegal. Many are country - specific; some are culinary, others will get you arrested, injured or infected wherever you are in the world. This book doesn't go just to the edge - it takes you on a white - knuckle ride right along the edge without stopping for pee breaks to experience thrills that are so out there that the beaten path will become a distant memory.":cool:

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Michael Powell schrijft nog iets die iedereen MOET weten :

"Certain sections of this book deal with activities and devices that would be in violation of various federal, state and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. We do not advocate the breaking of any law. This information is for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this book. WE do not guarantee that any of the information contained in this book is correct, workable or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information in this book".

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Ok, nu weten jullie...maar wees zeker dat ik alles filtreer vooraleer ik iets in dit forum schrijf. Ik wil ABSOLUUT niet dat iemand in problemen geraakt. De "scams" die ik ga geven zijn onschuldig, het zijn gewoon kleine tips die ik nergens gevonden heb. Het is wel zo dat sommige van de "scams" van dit boek zijn niet allemaal onschuldig. Ze gaan in het boek blijven.
De "scams" gaan in het Engels verschijnen, omdat de 255 bladzijden vertalen nogal tijdrovend is... ;)
Ok, let's go !

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1. Just like a blind

Doing as if you are bling is a good advantage for a traveler. The moment you step in the crowded airport bus ( somebody will get up for you to sit down) and all your journey looking at your co-passengers from behind your dark glasses, to the flight boarding requirements ( first on, first off), there are a lot of opportunities to get favorable treatment. (N.B. - zorg dat je bagage gemakkelijker te herkennen is als het op de bagageband komt, je bent blind, vergeet het niet!;)- Gecko)

You'll receive plenty of free tickets or the best seats in restaurants and at tourist attractions out of pity and maybe you'll get lucky to be "thrown" in the First Class when you fly. If there is a chance to be suspected that you are NOT blind, let them look at your special trained dog. That would be enough. The animal is allowed to travel with you everywhere for free and is allowed to join you in the cabin. If you don't have a dog, your only support is your appearance - before you embark.

Toilets abroad ( mainly in France) are best avoided, and peeing in the restroom sink is always better to squatting over some stinking hole in the floor. You are allowed to do this because you are blind.


2. Get anti-whaling fishing

If you think you've missed your profession but you don't know where to begin, you're never to old to start saving whales. Anyway, as any career adviser will tell you, you'll need to do your research. So, if you haven't seen "The Perfect Storm" or "Free Willy" before, rent them on DVD a.s.a.p. You have to know what you're going to do when it comes to dangerous sailing conditions, and having a little boy's spirit to save a whale.

Your enemies

The majority of the crews comes from Japan. But the Norwegians introduced the whale killing, when for the Japanese looked at the whales as gods of the sea.
In 1986 an international law was passed, but Japan is still free to kill around thousand whales per year for scientific goals. They don't want to murder Willy, they want only to kill him, make thousands of little pieces and put it under a microscope.

Your crew

If you really mean it, then join the "Sea Shepherd Conservation Society". They sail out of Washington state and Melbourne, Australia. Their mission is to protect endangered marine species like whales, dolphins and seals. Their reaction is "stink-bombing" ,by throwing butyric acid, described by them as "basically rancid butter". So, if you still have in your fridge butter since '99, you can already start the campaign on your own.


3. Get "shot" to First Class

On an airplane, the difference between First Class and Economy is a huge gap : gorgeous food, personal HD TV, more leg room than on a bench while you watch a match live, plus your company is not lowlifes like you. Plus your health : a good sleep and a very minor chance to get deep vein thrombosis. So, how do you get "dumped" in the Firtst Class ?

To get anything for nothing is a matter of psychology.; between you and the comfort are human beings. To start with, your look has to represent you as a First Class traveler : a suit, look clean and confident; the First Class travelers had paid a huge amount of money to avoid scruffy backpackers, children, doubtful food, in short, you won't have any chance if you look like them.

As a frequent flyer you have priority over the massa. Do look like an usual seasoned traveler.

Choose the good moment. Usually, if there are some up-grades, they will be given to frequent flyer
s but also, if you check in last, the ticket agent can see clearly how many First Class seats are still free.

If your flight is sold out, you can volunteer for the next flight. If the airline can't get you in an hour another flight. you'll be rewarded ( N.B. - "British Airways" vlucht van MOM to LHR was overbooked en we krijgen een overnachting in een 5sterren hotel, eten gratis en 300 euro extra; spijtig genoeg, moest ik weigeren, omdat ik moest op tijd zijn voor mijn werk...maar niet als nog eens gebeurd...mijn baas moet wachten en ik heb 300 euro "in the pocket"
;), en zo leer je hoe het beste voor je is - Gecko)

At the time of booking, tell them you are a famous travel writer ( N.B. - don't imagine that the ticket agents have time to read ! - my own experience:D - Gecko); doctor a copy of a famous travel guide - with your name in big letters on cover, spine and back) and tell them what you want; most airlines will see this as an opportunity to get free advertising and they will bend over backwards to make sure they'll get a favorable advertising in your "book";

Don't spell the word "upgrade". It sounds like begging, pushy...Be a "real"one and ask for a seat in front or one with more leg room;

Another possibility is complaining over your neighbor passenger; if he is a man, complain that he cannot keep his hands away from you and he is constantly pressing you.

If nothing of these all helps, fake your own death shortly after take off. It is standard practice for corpses to be moved to the First Class where there is more space, but choose your airline carefully : some carriers such as "Singapore Airlines" have introduced "corpse cupboards to stow the recently deceased, so you might find yourself being unceremoniously stuffed into one of the cabin crew's personal lockers. ( N.B. - Dit is lichtjes overdreven, vind ik, maar je kunt andere ziektes nadoen of zwangerschap "miseries"
;) ...-Gecko)


4. Walking on a Nudist Beach

If you like roaming aroud naked, there's no need for you to "crash" a nude beach. Minimize your clothes to zero and off you go.
Anyway, there are some things you should know in oder to mix in and avoid the risk of being chased away.

Eyes down

The nudists don't like to be stared at. They suffer from "hypocrisy"; why are they making such a fuss if someone is walking past them with his hands in the pockets and cameras around his neck ?? Their emotions tell them naked is natural ( N.B. - we zijn allemaal naakt geboren of vergiss ik me ?:p - Gecko); if they would listen to their brains, they might find out that there are people who want to take home several memory-aids.

Don't forget to take a towel with you : it's useful to lie on and put some decency on if you visit communal areas, like toilet, parking, beach café, and so on.
AND relax ....all people, dressed or not, they are not different from you after all.



5. Charming a snake

Go to India where the modern concept of snake charming has its roots.

What's the charm ?

Once upon a time the snake charmers were the tourist campaign to promote India. But you can still find practitioners playing their instruments and making their snakes wiggle and rise from their baskets.
The snake charmers choose their spot carefully, usually very busy places; they put their basket down and begin playing their been or pungi, a kind of flute, their favorite, actually. While playing their flute, the snake - usually a cobra or viper - will rise from the basket and waves in the air, as if it is in trance.
In fact, the snake doesn't hear the music, but the vibrations. The snake is not hypnotized, but it is their position to defend themselves before they strike.

Where to begin ?

First thing first, you need a snake. You can go in the wild and try to capture a cobra; there are chances you finish by being bitten by the snake. A much safer idea is to buy a fake one in a local gift store, the realest looking.

Snake in the grass

You'll see that the fake snake will not react to the vibrations of your flute. So, you have to get creative. Buy an authentic Indian basket, an extra-fine fishing line. Find a place that has some sort of overgang : a street light or building's eave, will do. Tie the fishing line around your snake's head, loop it over the overhang and then around your flute. Take the top off your basket, begin playing, twisting the instrument clockwise, while playing. The line will be reeled around the flute and raise your snake. Keep on moving the flute around, this will make your snake "dance" and it will distract your onlookers. When the snake reaches its peak height, begin twisting the flute counter-clockwise in order to put your snake to bed.
(N.B. - kies je plaats waar je "scam" kan ontdekt kan worden; in India is risky, want ze kennen het verschil tussen een echte en een "fake" slang; de wereld is groot, en als het lukt, heb je geld voor een lekkere maaltijd verdronken in de plaatselijke koude bier;) - Gecko)



6. Hide on board of a ship

A stowaway is any person who hides on a train, bus, plane, ship or bycicle in the hope of getting something for nothing, or getting from one country to another illegally. As most smart people know, you get wat you pay for, and when you become a stowaway, you'll put yourself to considerable danger and discomfort. There are also serious legal consequences if they find you, especially on a plane. If you get caught, you will most probably be treated as a terrorist and sent to Cuba, to a place where you really don't want to go.

Freight with Danger

Any form of transport has its own risks. Every year, people got injured trying to jump off the trains, others are found dead frozen inside the landing gear of a plane, others choose the wrong ship and get crushed by the tones of cargo or foun dead because of lack of food and water.
Of course, it sounds romantic and adventurous, but...
It is NOT an ADVICE, but the safest way is on a containership, because their security level is low and they have many places to hide, surely the empty containers. The port and the starboard service tunnels below decks are good places to get on.

Longshoremen

Many stowaways looked like dock laborers : a hard hat, jeans and an orange visibility jacket will do. An impostor is quickly found out if you work otherwise than the real ones : bend your knees if you have to lift something, keep your back straight. Learn a few knots, learn nautical terms and the nautical slang and go with your mates for a drink.



7. Border Control : a fishy moment or more...

If you want to pass a border, the best thing is not to cross the border officer. So you are forced to obey his rules, be calm and respectful, even if you are sure they are abusing their "power".
Borders are not pleasant places and it's easy to loose your temper. If you start asking questions and be impatient, then expect to be fully searched, as well as your car and your passport and papers dully checked.

How to have control on your body and psyché
- have all your papers ready to be checked; if not, the officer will take it as waste of his time and might get annoyed;
- look fresh, get off your hat and sunglasses;
- be respectful but also not toooo respectful; if you "smell" they are after a bribe, doe as if you don't understand and ask for a proof; don't take the border officials for granted, in some countries, they have a high rank;
- stay together; if one of you is called inside the office, another one should go also, but do not neglect your car;
- keep your car clean; if not, they have a point to search your car everywhere; stay by your car and be careful...there are also border guards who likes to "have a closer look" of a certain thing;
- keep on being calm; if not, they will think that you have something that they are not allowed to find / see ;
- do not choose the most crowded time of the day/night; you might pay a fee for making them work overtime;
- no jokes of any kind; let them make jokes and laugh, as if it's funny ( but most of the time it's not!);
- have a proof of purchase, mainly if your camera, Rolex, look like new;
- don't stare at a gun; they will get nervous and it won't be in your favor;



8. Adventure at "Niagara Falls"

If you look for adventure, something exceptional, you might think to go in a barrel over the "Niagara Falls". Think twice and deep : you might come back in a body-bag.
Do not forget : you'll go 52m down AND at the bottom rocks are waiting for you !
If you still think of such an "expedition", here come some thoughts for a less lethal adventure :

- choose "Horseshoe Falls"on the Canadian side and you'll get, as a bonus, a visit to the so beautiful Canada;
- there were some lucky ones, but they arrived down in bad shape and they were accommodated in a hospital for, let's say 6 months; can you afford this ?
- you need special materials, the barrel must be light and strong as wel; it might cost you up to $19.000; how many trips can you do with this amount of money ? Around the World trip ? Move to a lonesome tropical island?
- the stunt might cost you more than that : a fine up to $ 10.000 + court costs or jail ;
- if you still want to do it, inform yourself thouroughly before attempting it; read about it, mainly the experiences of the ones who did it; it won't be much of literature, because they are not many who survived it.




9. Looking gorgeous...abroad

Your buttocks are too round, according to you and the mirror ( or other sources;)), your face begins to show the steps of the time even if you give a fortune on "extraordinary" creams and visits to your cosmetician, loyal friends tell you "you look splendid !" (...for your age :p), but you know the truth and the mirrors never lie !
But you have friends they go on a holiday and they come back totally "new"; how do they do it ??
This is no secret : everybody knows. You can go on a holiday to Brazil, Costa Rica or further like Malaysia, Thailand, South Africa. In these countries, the cosmetic surgery is on a full swing. Let's see :

- in Brazil, for example, most surgeons have a license for CBF ( the Brazilian Football Club), so they know what they are doing; one minus point : they speak only Potuguees. If it goes wrong and you wake up paralyzed, just let them know you need more of that stuff to kill your pain;
- if you get shot in South Africa ( on a safari, somebody took you for an elephant - i.e. before your cosmetic surgery, of course), they will mend you for a third of the price. Put your valuables in a safe, if you are still under anaesthetic, you are easily robbed;
- each surgery is guaranteed...they tell you that the scars will not be seen by a naked eye, at 23 metres !




10. Looking for a Ladyboy ??

To start with, it's difficult to find one. But when you are greeted by "Hello, very cheap-cheap", you know already what you have to do : buy a drink and start a conversation by saying what you are looking for. Here comes the rest of your evening :

- a lady does not shave her face, but if you spot some indications of facial hair, it's Bingo ! Even if they try to hide it under 10 layers of foundation and make-up, their effort will not last long...at the tropics, the air is humid and it's hot ( think about Thailand, for instance);
- if "she" looks gorgeous, the luck is on your side; but if it's a real "she", what the heck is she doing there ? She should be dating a fat, ugly westerner with a bag of money !
- look at her neck; if you see an Adam's apple "dancing" up and down, then it is a guy;
- if your date is tall and have plenty of muscles, it should be obvious...
- check her feet; Thai girls have small feet and they are not used to carry pints of beer in one hand....
- see her friends; if they are quiet ugly and clearly ladyboys, then she is one of them, but the best !
- if she comes with you to your hotel, she will put the lights off and will insist to let the lights out;
- if you are still not sure or convinced, just plainly ask : "Are you a ladyboy?
"



11. Sneak into Mecca

Mecca is the holiest city of islams all over the world. There is Mohamed geboren and when the believers pray ( 5 times a day), they pray with their faces that way. If you fly direction Middle East or Asia, you'll see on your screen where Mecca and/or Medina is situated comparing with the flight course. If you are caught in Mecca and/or Medina, as a non-Muslim, you'll face either the death penalty or you'll be lynched on the spot by the furious Muslims.
This is no joke. You might think what you want, but this is serious ...
If you still want to do it, leave this book at home or better still, burn it !
Don't go when they celebrate "Hajj" ( the 8th to 12th day of Dhu al Hijjah, the 12th month of the Islamic calender); the chance that you'll be trampled by thousands of pilgrims is real, and you might end in a body-bag, if they have one.
Look, it's very risky, but if your courage feeling is great enough, you might do as following :

- there are not many succesful people who lived to put it on a paper; one of them is Sir Richard Burton ( not the actor, of course not !); he wrote "Personal Narrative of a Pilgrimage to al-Madinah & Meccah"; if you read it, you'll realize that it was not a bloody joke;
- if your passport doesn't mention your religion and you are no Jew, then you can simply let your beard grow, buy a cream-colored abaya or hijab for women, get some knowledge of Islam ( for you to know which way to walk - counter-clockwise, around the black blok called Ka'bah, the most sacred monument of the Islam world) and when do you have to lower your head for prayer;
- wher you arrived in Mecca, go straight to your hotel and then straight to the Grand Mosque (
Masjid al-Haram);
- enter with your right foot first and keep your head down untill you can see the Ka'bah;
- start praying;
- when you got out the country, forget you ever did it; no story-telling, no journal....just forget it, right ?




12. Fly at no cost

Dream you can travel at no cost : no check-in, no borders, no hassle, no economize a full year for just 2 bleeding holiday weeks. Possible or not ?

- being born on an airplane - if you can read these lines, it is already much too late for you;
- once upon a time, if you were born on an airplane, you were sure to travel for free all your life; not anymore; the rules have changed : no airline let lady passengers fly if they are more than 32 weeks pregnant + a letter from the doctor that there is no problem; if the lady is more than 36 weeks pregnant, then she can forget it;
- and still there are some possibilities :
a) the overbooked plane - volunteer to give up your seat
; make it clear when you first chec-in ;
b) spare your air miles ;
c) date an airline crew; they receive some free tickets for themselves and their family; but avoid getting married, because you'll finish eating popcorn in front of a TV, watching boring programma's;
d) fake you got cancer : shave your head and get in touch with "
Air Charity Network", "Corporate Angel Network" or "Lifeline Pilots", to name a few; do some research, there are more; these organizations pay for the people who are in need for a treatment;
e) air courier - this is very easy; get in touch with "International Association of Air Travel Couriers" ( IAATC); all you need is a clean passport; the negative side is that they allow only 1 courier per flight;
f) send yourself; get a sturdy box, get inside with plenty of water and put on very warm clothes - it's very cold up there! your toilet will be the empty bottles of water;





13. Your life in an Airport

Has this situation occured to you ? You are traveling and you have such bad luck...no money; this means no accommodation, no food, no fun.
What are you going to do? Sleep on the streets ?( are you experienced?). What do you eat ? If this happens at the countryside, you may hope finding some fruit, do some fishing ( you need a line, right?), you might beg for some food ( the "locals" will look strange at a westerner without money !..) and that's about it.
Some suggestions :

- don't even try this "scam" in U.K.; very shortly, the authorities will issue an "Anti-Social Behavior Order" ( ASBO) and they'll throw you out;
- one of the good places are Mallorca (Palma) and in Spain's big airports;
- mix with the flow; a lot of people are waiting for their flights or delayed flights; it's big, it's warm and it doesn't cost you any eurocent; no taxes, no bills, no rent, no hassle;
- BUT the big fluorescent lights are everywhere and they are burning 24/24, 7/7; get a sleeping mask and ear plugs and have a good sleep !
- during the day, do what the others do : look at the "departures" or "arrivals", have a nice and loud conversation with your mobile and look bored;
- eat like birds; "jump" on left-overs with delicate gestures not to draw any attention on you; you might even foud some money and woop ! there is your Big Mac Meal, enough for a day, if you count the calories.
- there will be lonely days, nobody to talk to...yeah, your mobile, but it doesn't answer to you, does it ? and if you neglect yourself (i.e. hygiene), people will walk in big circles around you.



14. Your performance with the bulls in Pamplona

Pamplona ? San Fermin Festival ? For the ones who knows what's about, just skip the lines. If you never heard of it, I'll explain shortly : it takes place in the month of July, every year ( consult their page on web, to know exactly when the madness begins); the first day, the mayor opens the festivities.
The route is about 800 metres long and in begins by the corral up to the great stadium in Plaza del Toros ( the name tells you where is finish, doesn't it ?).
All along the route, the street are fenced, not for safety reasons ( are you joking?!) but for the bulls not to escape !
In the morning, at 08.00 o'clock, 6 killers set off, together with two heards of steers.
Now, if you want to become a "hero", or you are fed up with your miserable life ( "Working 9 to 5", remember this nice and oh ! so true song?), or any other good reason you might have, go for it :

- drink the whole night, but not so much to become legless or for the police to stop your intention ;
- get a white shirt and large pants, a red belt and a red handkerchief around your neck is all you need to feel like a real one;
- if you decided already where you are goin' to start, go to the cathedral in centre town;
- the first segment is the most dangerous and only the fools and the most courageous runners follow it - Passage of Santo Domingo - ; why ? simply because it goes up and the bulls are fresh;
- the middle segment is quite safe and wide; it starts at the end of Santo Domingo and it finishes at the first corner of La Estafeta; from there on, the streets get narrower;
- the downhill curve at Duque de Ahumada untill the stadium is very dangerous too ;
- at 08.00 o'clock, a rocket is shot in the sky and this is the signal "start". But before starting, prey for your dear life to Sint Fermin; another shot means that the bulls are let free and quiet pissed off ;
- try to mix in the crowd; don't run along one bull, don't compete with it, your chances are nihil;
- if you fall, you're lost...you'll get bulls and runners all over you; you can easily imagine the consequences, don't you ?
- two minutes and a half later ( you'll feel it like no end of your adventure), you'll hear a third shot which means that the bulls have entered the bull ring and one shot more when they are safely closed;
- now, you can lie down and check what are the damages : brokken ribs, bruises, blood running from a wound you did not discovered yet.




15. Don't ask, just eat !

You've "burnt out" and you feel miserable; and everybody tells you to go on a holiday, to relax. Right ! You are ready to go but you also want to mix between the locals and feel like your work never existed. You want adventure and stories to make the hair of your friends rise.
The easiest way to start with, is local food. Go to a local restaurant where the menu is not translated and order the following:

1. Mexico
- order "Chapulines" - it's a delicious Mexican meal; it tastes sour, salty and spicy;

2.Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos
- eat on the street; ask at a vendor's chart for "balut"; it looks like a hot-dog, but it isn't; you'll get a small pack of salt and something looking like boiled egg; put some salt on it ; n.b. - it's not an egg and you do not want to know what this really is.


3. Philippines
- dine in a local eatery and start with a soup; not any soup, but soup nr. 5; it has a smell of itself, think about the famous Channel nr.5; but in this case, it's different, a different aroma, of course; if you can nail the ingredients, you might be less selfish and send the list to Channel...you might get rich, who knows ?!
- then continue with "betute tugak", a thing stuffed in another thing...
(N.B. - Ik heb ooit, in Laos, halveweg Luang Prabang, rat gegeten zonder te weten; ik heb kip met look besteld, 's avonds, in een erg arm, arm dorp; ik dronk mijn pintje, en nog éen, lang wachtend op mijn "kip"; ik dacht eerst dat de kip nog een ei was, dan dat ze de kip nog niet hebben kunnen vangen... eindelijk mijn "kip" is aangekomen; rammelend van honger, begon ik te eten; lange haren sierde mijn "kip" en het was nogal aan de taaie kant; maar ja, ik wist niet hoe een Laotiaanse kip uitzag en z'n leeftijd...het was een geheim; 's morgens kwam de uitleg : de kippen bestonden allang niet meer en een goede vervanging was...de rat ! :wtf: - Gecko)



16. I wanna cigarette !

I don't know if you smoke but I do; not one a day, but many...; if you don't smoke, you'll never know what you are going through on a long-haul flight. First, at security check - try to conceal your lighter, otherwise you can forget the delicious moment of a first cigarette once you are out of the airport ! Ok, lighter is still in place, so you can smoke, but it is forbidden all the way untill your destination. Now, what are goin' to do ?
One will say "go to the airplane toilet, once it took off"; forget it, they have alarms all over the place ! And if they catch you, be ready to pay a serious fine, which will leave your credit card as empty as a desert...
But for everything in this world, there is a solution ( except death, it goes without saying ); here it comes :

- put off the smoke alarm by placing duct tape over the air vents; if the alarm can't catch any smoke, it won't go off, right ?
-don't unplug the alarm, by doing this the alarm will be set off and you really don't want it !!!
- don't try to reach your seat innocently, the smoke sticks to your clothes !
- so, take a puff, take the cigarette away from your mouth, so that it stays dry ;
- bend as much as you can in the wc bowl and breathe out ;
- flush!! this way the smoke will be gone; doe it every time you smoke!! ; take some strong perfume or strong after-shave with you, just to play safe ;
- to destroy any evidence, put the butt under water and eat the rest ! it will do you no harm, or much less than a catastrophical fine or getting caught !!!
:eek:



17. Ridiculous laws abroad

A long quotation from Michael Powell's book "Forbidden Knowledge : Travel" :

- "Australian law forbids leaving your car keys in an unattended vehicle, giving someone a Tarot or psychic reading ( which are considered forms of witchcraft), and wandering the streets wearing black clothes with your face covered in boot polish, as this is the exact attire of a cat burglar ;"
- " in Bahrein, a male doctor can legally examine a woman's intimates, but he must not view them directly; instead, he must hold up a mirror and stare at the reflection ; "
- "when in France, you can't name your pig Napoleon, take photographs of police officers or police vehicles, and between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m., 70% of music on the radio must be by French artists:"
- "Israel forbids the riding of bikes without a license, nose picking on the Sabbath, and feeding animals in a public place;"
- "home schooling your children in Spain is not allowed, nor is tying down the trunk of a vehicle, or listening to music with ear plugs while driving; "
- " in Switzerland, you're not allowed to flush the toilet after 10 p.m., or pee standing up, and on Sundays you can't hang up laundry, or clean your car ; "

- "in Thailand, no one is allowed to step on the nation's currency ( since it depicts the Thai Royal Family); it is also illegal to leave the house without your underwear, and you must wear a shirt while driving; "
- "a married woman in Turkey can only get a job with her husband's permission, she must live where he dictates, and if they divorce, all jointly-owned assets revert to him;"
- "in the United Arab Emirates, belly dancing is forbidden, along with swearing or kissing in public, and it is a criminal offence to eat, drink, or smoke in public during Ramadan in daylight;"
- "in the United Kingdom, it is illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas Day, or die in the Houses of Parliament, and in Scotland, if a stranger asks to use your restroom, you must let them in;"
- "in China, women are not allowed to walk around naked in the privacy of their hotel room; they can only be naked in the bathroom;"
- in Denmark, it is illegal to start a car without first checking that there are no children sleeping underneath it, and an inn cannot charge you for food unless you consider yourself to be "full"; "
- "all electronic games are prohibited in Greece, including those on home computers, portable consoles and cell phones; even bringing a cell phone with game software into the country is illegal;"
- "in Hong Kong, a woman may legally kill her cheating husband if she uses her bare hands; the woman with whom the husband is cheating can be killed in any manner;"
- "in Italy, a woman of 'ill repute or evil looks' , entering a cheese factory in the area of Ferrara, is breaking the law; a man may be arrested for wearing a skirt; "
- "there are more than 100 offences that carry the death penalty in Iran; according to Article 49 of the Islamic Penal Code, the age of legal responsability is 9 for girls and 15 for boys; a child's punishment for being raped is death; Iran is the only country that executes minors;"
- "it is illegal to wear purple in Japan unless you are in mourning, and children aren't allowed to receive organ transplants; all foreign visitors must be photographed and fingerprinted ( N.B. - juist zoals in de States, nietwaar?
:rolleyes:- Gecko);
- "men in Libanon are legally permitted to have sex with animals, but only if the animals are female; it is illegal to have sex with a male animal ( the punishment is death); remember : straight bestiality good, gay bestiality bad
:bad:;"
- "in Russia, it is illegal to drive a dirty car, or be unemployed;"
- "Saudi Arabian women aren't allowed to drive, or appear in public unless accompanied by a male relative or guardian, but a woman can divorce her husband if he doesn't supply her with enough coffee;"



18.Eating dangerously ....in Japan

Blowfish..does it say anything to you ? No ? Than for sure you don't know anything about fugu.
Wel, it's a delicacy IF it's prepared like it should; if not, you're history in 30 minutes ! It looks like Russian roulette, but not in a casino, more precisely in the kitchen, this time. Its ovaries, muscles and liver are lethaly poisonous. Your life will finish in respiratory and cardiac failure. Anyway, your hart will sunk when you get the bill; it might cost you $250 a person. Pretty cheap, isn't it ? if you think how much money will cost your body bag being sent from Japan to your dark and cold "destination" !:wtf:
In japan, they eat about 10 000 tons of this very dangerous meal. The deceased curve is on decline, because there are strict laws nowadays and the licences are tightened, too.
If you feel like give it a go, call the restaurant a few days in advance and tell them you want to eat fugu; the preparation became a real art, so they might need to look for a sushi chef; DON'T eat it if your chosen restaurant is ready to serve it to you without a long in advance reservation.
Fugu sashimi fills your food needs all right, even if it is expensive; normally the portion size is enough for 2 persons. Sit at the sushi bar and you can see how it is prepared; it might be your last moments of your life on earth, so take advantage, as long as you can.;)

The taste is delicate; you get thin strips with a radish dip and a lime wedge; squirt a few drops of lime (sudachi) en don't break the taste with a lot of soy sauce - the taste will be destroyed and you'll be labelled as a barbarian - ; eat at your ease untill your lips and tongue start tingling; it's normal, don't panic, you are not goin' to die, BUT if you loose contact with your mouth or tongue, it's high time to call it an emergency and call an ambulance; you'll be dead by the time they get there where you are, but we all die once, aren't we ?

There are a lot of kinds of fugu worldwide, but the most lethal, expensive and delicious is Tora-Fugu and it is at its best in the winter ( and you'll pay accordingly...you know what I mean;))


19.Black market : a solution for a screwed up economy

You'll find a black market in every country of this world : currency exchange, goods cheaper than the original ( you pay no import taxes and no TVA), things that you cannot find everywhere, cheap copies but also illegal items like weapons ( N.B. - Ik heb een plaats gevonden, via "Lonely Planet"(!) in Managua ( Nicaragua) waar wapens kan gekocht worden..."just in case":cool: - Gecko), drugs, explosives, sexual services, you name it.

If it comes to currency, take care if you change your money on the streets or with individuals (N.B. - see how we were "robbed" in Isla Margarita, by changing money against my will - post "Venezuela" d.d. 14.01.2013 gestart door "Motorreiziger" - en 800 euro "lichter"geworden":bad: - Gecko) ; the point is to haggle in the local market in the local currency ans at the last second offer a lower figure in your home currency;( N.B. - if they offer you a higher rate than the usual rate exchange, take much care; count your exchange carefully before giving them your money; if they start getting nervous and shout "Police!", look carefully around before giving them your currency; it's a SCAM ! :bad: - Gecko).

If you are traveling in Asia, you can buy fantasticly cheap copies of movies,CD's, software, video games, electronics and so on. You can use them at home, but never spend more than you want to loose. You don't get any warranty or after sales support, and sometimes they are made for the Asian market and it will not work at home. So, you know now how much you can spend on a dubious thing...( N.B. - vergeet niet dat namaak producten verboden zijn en als je een slechte dag hebt, de douane kan ze vinden en vraag me niet wat de boete kan bedragen...:eek: - Gecko);

Don't buy an expensive copy of a Rolex, Rado, or any other expensive watches; it's not worth your money; but if you still want to buy one, you should know exactly how a genuine one looks at its outside; whatever, the work pieces inside are cheap and generic, and you'll be very lucky if it will last a few years ( N.B. - ik ken iemand uit Nederland die een horloge gekocht heeft, in Hong Kong, voor z'n vrouw...het werkt nog steeds..."lucky bastard" !:p - Gecko).

Fake designer clothes : complicated chapter. The designers will never take the time to warn us that the "Adidas" we buy in any Asian country is below the standards of quality ( N.B. - als je aan de binnenkant kijkt en je even ook naar de label kijkt, het is meestal "made in..." een Aziatisch land :frown: - Gecko); but the manufacturers are pride to show you that there is no difference between a genuine one and a fake; all you have to do is check the quality of the fabric and the stitching - it must be tight, straight and regular. ( N.B. - vergeet niet onze douanediensten en de wet* over de "fake"producten - Gecko)

* - de gemakkelijkste weg om "christelijke" fake-producten door de douane te krijgen ( in geval van een control) is de producten zelf te dragen en doen alsof ze niet nieuw zijn; stop die NOOIT in je bagage, of je hangt het ! resultaat : een superdikke boeten :bad: - Gecko)



19. Archeology or Adventure ?

Are you interested in Mayan culture or are you looking for adventure ? If the answer to the first question is "yes", then your activity is harmless. Reading about such a developed and advanced culture will broad your knowledge and let's cut it short : it's interesting.
If the answer to the second question is also "yes", trouble is on its way. Climbing the ruins can be deadly. No, I'm not exagerating; just imagine : you are climbing higher and higher, and at a certain moment a blok of stone wants to change its position and listening to the law of gravitation, it is collapsing, taking you with it. You'll never see the base of the pyramid alive.
The Mayan civilisation is present from south of Mexico until down to Honduras and El Salvador. If you want to be safe, go to Belize, at the border with Guatemala; take a local guide to the Peten rainforest; he will lead you to less known ruins, like the ones of Caracol. Considering that your guide didn't robbed you and leave you behind, you'll arrive at the remnants of one of the largest Maya kingdoms.
Try to find an observatory; it's a round building, used by the Mayas for their famous calendar, we all know that the apocalyptic 2012 announced. And surprise ! surprise!, nothing happened.



20. Wat about Atlantis, then ?

The Greek philosopher Plato and before him, the 200 years ago ruler, Solon, they believed that this mysterious island disappeared 10 000 years ago under the sea. One says it was a mighty state, ruling over parts of Europe and Africa, but the upper god Zeus got angry by the greed of the inhabitants and sent them awful earthquakes and floods.
Others say that Plato got all wrong and in fact, Atlantis is the beautiful Santorini (Thira), destroyed by a volcanic eruption.
Now, who is right and who is wrong ?!

Some other answers to the mistery might be, among others, the Bimini Road in the Bahamas, which is actually a sunken stone formation. Some others, like a Canadian team of oceanographers, placed Atlantis off the coast of Cuba; they believe that what they found, strange geometrical formations of rocks spread over 8 square miles and almost half a mile deep together with an extinct volcano and fault lines, was Atlantis until a heavy earthquake ruined it for ever.

Other places linked to Atlantis are : off coast of Cyprus, near Indonesia, near Puerto Rico, Sardinia, Finland, Turkey and the Black sea.
What can you do? Choose one of the places, go there on a holiday and start looking for Atlantis on your own. You won't believe your luck....!!



21. Sin in Sin City

You are not a millionaire ?! You don't have to.
You are not a super star ?! You don't have to.

Las Vegas makes money from the sods like you. The joke says : walk away from a casino with a small fortune and walk in with a much larger one. How does this sounds to you ? Think about ....;)
What you can do, not to be stripped of everything you posess, is to play the tables at smaller casino - hoe smaller the casino, the less the bet level.
Don't get DRUNK ( another scam they play on you), even if you get free drinks and they are not so "for free" as you might think; you paid them, but under another form.
To avoid getting stripped till you are naked, don't press your bets and quit on time, and then you have money over to hire a hooker and / of get married (N.B. - about the last...think deep : your freedom is something you cannot buy and to get rid of it, it will cost you a lot more money than a gambling night ;) - Gecko).

Pay attention if you pick up a hooker; it's not legal in Las Vegas, but everybody closes an eye on it. Hookers are everywhere. If you hang around alone at the bar of a nice hotel and you look very expensive dressed ( N.B. - conclusion : you are rich ! - Gecko), you'll get hooked by an escort, very probably. It's a business like any other : you ask her what she is offering, how much and you'll come out with your demands. It's like barganing in Asia...it should be quiet simple for you, as she probably never saw and been in Asia before.
Or, you look in the newspapers at the ads from the Strip and downtown; one little scam : she will not look like in the picture. But at least, the business is clear for both of you.
IF something goes out of hand, you cannot call or rely on coppers.

If you want to marry for just of fun of it, like many others before you, stars and mortals like you, Las Vegas is the only place in the world where "Elvis" will be at your side, officiating your marriage. Buy an official marriage license application at the Clark County Courthouse one day before your grand moment. What you need more is your ID and a proof that you are older than 21 years.
If you change your mind, 72 hours later you can get your freedom back.
If you want to do it on a shoestring, do it when the midsummer temperatures are highest; you'll sweat your head off, but instead, you'll have more money to get ruined at the slots.



22. Your Life during and after a Plane Crash

It's not only scary, it's bloody real !
Some pieces of advice that make your survival easier or it can even save your life as wel :

* wear only natural fibers clothes; other fibers will stick to your body during a fire;
* wear shoes while landing ; it has nothing to do with your stinking feet !
* I know it's very boring but keep one eye and one ear open for the safety instructions; you know...just in case you might need them... draw a map in your head with the easiest en quickest way to exit; probably you'll have to step on the head of the loosers that didn't care to spend a few minutes to save their own lives; don't hesitate, just do it !
* probably you heard a lot of stories about the safest seat in a plane; statistically, the rear seats are the best and don't forget your "map" with your exit route.
* in an economy seat is often impossible to protect yourself by using the brace position, but try it as hard as you can; this position protects your teeth in case your corpse must be identified ! Bloody shocking, isn't it ?
* tighten your seatbelt, and you will not fly around in case of emergency...you know what I mean, don't you ?
* learn how to loosen the seatbelt, you are not driving your rusty car !
* in case of fire, breathe through a handkerchief, and go to the floor level; there is less smoke.
* follow the green floor lights; there is the exit !
* if there are no instructions, don't sit like an idiot, get moving ! to the nearest exit and get yourself out. Don't play the hero, or you'll die together with the other loosers !


23. The Hell on Earth - the Australian Outback

G'day mate ! Outback is not just one place, the Aussies will tell you...but almost all Australia is an outback. There, you'll find tons of nature to admire, tons of land and everything that might get you into trouble.
Start in Darwin and go south, not without renting you Toyota Landcruiser. If you don't follow the highways ( N.B. - what's there to see?!:frown: - Gecko) and you follow your "nose", you're already in trouble.
Get off your 4x4 and if you're not biten by poisonous snakes and spiders, the heath will capture you and a heatstroke is waiting for you just around the corner. No shit, this is serious...walking long distances in the fearless sun will get you incapacitated and an easy meal for a couple of always hungry dingoes. Sightseeing from your driver's seat is a much better option...

AVOID any form of water, even if you are very hot and DO NOT jump in any place like rivers, if your life is still dear to you. The Australian saltwater crocodile is known to journey inland down freshwater rivers. They are no crocodiles, they are CROCS, if capital letters mean anything to you ! They are huge !
BUT, if your luck is on a holiday and you meet one of these beasts, try, if you daring enough, to hold the beast's snout closed; they can bite extremely hard, but they are weak to open their snout, once kept seriously shut. So, clamp the snout down and hold on for a ride...it will likely be a short one:eek:

Mind the kangaroo signs...if it comes to a collision, you'll surely feel it. :wtf:


24. Ripping Off Your Fellow Travellers

This is a very old practice, as old as the travelling itself.

The classics are :

The Airport Metal - Detector Push-In

- this is a real easy one, but you need cooperation from a partner; to start with, your friend puts his/her luggage through the metal detector device; wait till he/she ( your mark) puts his/her luggage on the running belt, you step past him/her quickly, but you put off the alarm and take all your time to empty all your stuff; he/she will wait patiently for you to finish your operation, while your fellow picks up his/her bagage on the other side and get away with it; if he/she does not allow you to push in front and you get caught in a heavy discussion, the finish is the same - your friend has a clean chance to get away.

The Bus Insurance Trick

- when your friends begin to get fully trust in you, tell them about the "sure-fire" scam you've heard of. Tell them they have to pay, let's say $ 300 to an insurer and if anything goes wrong, they'll get 10 times more back. They get on a bus, which will get rear-ended a few miles down the road. They can get compensation by playing as if they got whiplash wounds, and so the bus company will give them 10 times more to avoid court appearance. And they give you the money, they board the bus and nothing happens untill their final destination. There, they will realize it was a scam, but what the hell ?! you got their money and they are far away from you. Perhaps you will not believe it, but thousands of them "ate" this scam.;)

A False Cop

- you got dope...share it with your fellows travellers, add some booze and spliff session on the beach; act as if you are suddenly sick and go home early, but not before you are sure that there is enough stuff which the law forbids; this is the start point of your real friends to arrive on site 10 minutes later like local cops; they will be seriously bribed and confiscate everything which is against the country's law....and that's all, folks !;)

P.S. - het is zeker NIET mijn bedoeling om jullie "scams" te leren, maar dit hoofdstuk snijdt op 2 manieren : jullie attent maken tegen zulke praktijken EN als je ECHT de licht van einde tunnel niet meer ziet, dit kan je even helpen om terug thuis te geraken...wat je geweten betreft, tja...kortom, je moet beslissen tussen in het zwart werken en snel en vrolijk een "buck" verdienen op een dubieuze manier.:confused:


25. Shatter Stupid Laws in U.S.A.

Michael Powell collected in his book "Forbidden Knowledge Travel" the most dumb state laws of the U.S.A. Here they are :

* " In Alabama, you can be arrested for operating a vehicle blindfolded, wearing a fake moustache that causes laughter in the church, flicking boogers in the wind and keeping an ice cream cone in your back pocket."

* "In California, it is against the law for anyone to stop a child from jumping over puddles of water, and a city ordinance states anyone who detonates a nuclear device within the city limits as well will be fined $ 500."

* " Illinois law expressly forbids giving lighted cigars to dogs, cats and other domesticated pets; eating in a restaurant that is on fire, peeing in your neighbour's mouth and drinking beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb are all off limits."

* " In Louisiana, biting someone with your natural teeth is simple assault, but if you have false teeth you will be charged with aggravated assault; having a pizza delivered to someone without their permission will land you with a $500 fine".

* "Minnesota law prohibits walking across the Minnesota - Wisconsin border with a duck on your head; giving or receiving oral sex; and having sex with your wife if your breath stinks of garlic, onions or sardines." (N.B. - in dit geval, zou ik, voor de toekomst, een platonische relatie hebben:wtf: - Gecko )

* "When committing a murder in New Jersey, it is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest; you're not allowed to pump your own gas, and in Newark it is illegal to buy ice cream after 6.00 pm." (N.B. - de laatste is nog niet zo zot, als je op je lijn wilt letten;) - Gecko).

* "You can get arrested in Ohio for getting a fish drunk or sharing a house with more than 4 other women ( if you're a woman); in Oxford, it is illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture."

* "In South Dakota, lying down and falling asleep in a cheese factory is actionable behaviour and movies that show cops being beaten up are banned."

* "In Utah, you are breaking the law if you persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk of a state highway; also, you cannot have sex in the back of an ambulance while it is responding to an emergency call."

* " Three ways to get arrested in Wyoming are being drunk in a mine, wearing a hat in a theatre that obstructs other people's views, and taking a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit".

N.B. - laat je inbeelding werken en...have a funny and sunny day !:p


26. Smuggle Antiquities

Tourism is flowering, the art market goes international, Iraq is invaded, all these mean that now it's time to get into the art business.
But let's start with the beginning : earl Elgin plundered the Parthenon (Greece) and took the famous marbles away to England; the Turks gave him a "proof of correct source and buying", and it said he won them fairly at a game. The English Parliament decided that the earl was a good boy and he should be rewarded for bringing such costly pieces. Next, British Museum bought them and now they are nicely displayed, for you to admire them.

Origin
The devils with dark robes, they will always tell you that your success depends on a shitty paper where it states the origin of the stolen pieces. You might think that it will be almost impossible to sell them on the international art market and it might be better for you to wait for the right moment, so under your bed or any other hidden place in your house will do, for the moment. You are WRONG ! There was, is and always be a blooming business in stolen art, and everybody is implicated in it : seller, buyer, museums, auctions, name it.

How much ?
It's quite risky, but if you are prepared for, ...it means go to problem areas ( war, civil war, unstability). Let's look at Iraq : this country's art is being stolen for years and years, and there are still precious pieces discovered every day and still being bought and smuggled out of country. There is nobody to stop it. The locals sell them because the Islam says that "everything belongs to God and wealth is held by humans in trust", explains Michal Powell too.
So...


27. Sex on the beach

No, don't get fooled : I'm not going to write down the recipe of the famous cocktail. This is your problem.
It's about fantesizeing to make love on a beutiful beach, while the sea is "singing" for you and the sun is sinking in the aquamarine sea.:rolleyes:

If you are ready to do it, be also prepared for other things to happen to you both, beside getting arrested :

* have you ever heard of paparazzi ? It's not reserved only for super-stars, you'll be also "super-stars"...someone will be catching your love secretly and then...you'll be amazed that, all of a sudden, you'll star on Internet ! Very soon...question of days...be very sure of it ! And if you think water will hide you, just forget it, there will be more filming your "swim party". And if you think you found the perfect secluded place, you are wrong once again !
Solution : be very careful where you hide and take a damn blanket or whatever, to cover you.:wtf:

* everybody knows that on a beach, you'll find plenty of...S-A-N-D ! Before you know, it will get everywhere, and nothing will protect you from a sure frictional discomfort, not even 10 towels. The next days your main job will be to get rid of it from your most secret and intimate places.:D

* your expectations will be poor, even if you watched movies with celebrities making love on a paradise beach ! You poor sod, your only also poor solution would be to keep your hopes low and maybe you'll get some nice surprises...I'll write it again : maybe.;)



28. Get a Better Room

To ask for it, it doesn't cost you a dime. But like everything, everybody and everywhere on Earth, there are solutions for everything, everybody and everywhere. Let's try :

* if you are a frequent traveller, try to use the services of the same hotel, every time; try to make yourself known by the staff and the boss, so every time you call them, they can put a face on the call; be friendly, give the staff good tips and send an e-mail or a letter to thank the boss for being so nice to you, write him you had a wonderful stay and the good service, and promise him you'll be back soon.

* try to bring more clients to the hotel : recommend it to your friends, organize events here and make sure everybody will mention your name when they check-in; if you succeed in bringing them extra money, they will not forget you : result : they will give a better room or even an upgrade; it costs them nothing, but you'll have a better accommodation ( N.B. - er bestaan toch eigenaars die helemaal geen klanten meer willen hebben en ook geen reklame, bv. mijn vrienden in Zuid-Kreta!;) - Gecko).

* and if you travel just once or twice a year ( N.B. - het hangt verschriekelijk af van je bankuittreksels:p - Gecko), just put on some "business clothes" and the hotel will do its best to offer a better room to a "businessman"! Ik you booked a room low fare, they will immediately realize that you are a dumb cheap tourist;

* you go to X hotel for the first time ...start complaining about your experiences in the past and make clear you are not goin' to the same shit again; your room is a mess and you cannnot close an eye because of the noise ( outside, on the street or inside, on the hall, drunken bloody tourists fellows, rows from a couple, etc); go to the reception, tell them you had a better opinion about their hotel and keep on asking for another room ( and maybe they give you an upgrade, if you tell them you are going to write about their hotel on internet;) ;

* first of all, before you want an upgrade, make sure what exactly your expectancies are; it's very important you go to the reception desk very decidely and tel them exactly what you want;

* normally, except for the fact that the upper floors are quiter, the upper floors also offer you the best rooms; use your charm, and do as if you never travelled in your life and you'd appreciate to have a nice panorama view on the surroundings; who can refuse it if you ask this way ?!

* check in as late as possible; why ? because the staff has o better view on what rooms are free and for how long ;

* do as if you have plenty of money and you are ready to pay some more to have a good room; this way, they think you are more interested in your own comfort than getting more for no money; this is your chance to get un upgrade and the staff will not be interested in your money;



29. "Avoid an International "faux pas"

When travelling, do not forget you are a tourist AND you must not neglect some rules ( N.B. - over "etiquette in het buitenland" gaat een aparte dossier komen:) - Gecko )

* in Arab countries, forget your left hand; it's like you never had it; don't wipe your back with some newspaper, while you're on the toilette, because if the name of "Allah" appears anywhere on your sheet of paper, you're in the shit !

* Greece and Bulgaria have a peculiar way to nod "yes" or "no" : if they move their heads from side to side, it means "yes" ; if they nod, upwards to downwards, it means "no".:confused: Don't take it too seriously, the Greek word for "yes" is "nai" . Still confused ? Read it again and exercise, at home, in front of a mirror; you won't forget it !

* in most part of countries in Europe and USA , if you make eye contact, it means you are really watch it and you trust it : but in many countries in Africa and Asia, there is another interpretation of the same kind of looking : avert your eyes means respect and/or deference, and if you keep on looking, they will interpret it as a threat. It's same as in Mexico .

* kisses...so romantic...but you can get in shit in some Arab and Asian countries, this means not just a bloody fee but you might even get arrested; take care who are you kissing..

* if you go to Thailand, don't EVER pat somebody on his/her head; it is considered as rudeness, because the head means literally and symbolically as the highest part of the body; also, do NOT point the soles of your feet - the lowest point of your body - to other people; it's considered to be very rude.

* If you are in Asia, Japan included, and somebody gives you his business card and you just let it fall in your pocket, unread, this is a sign of rudeness; take the card, attentively, read it and DO NOT write anything on it ;

* China - tipping people in China is against the law and everybody will get very embarrassed ;

* giving a present is usual in many countries, but DO NOT ever give leather presents to an Indian or Hindu, wherever you meet them on the planet; if you land, literally and symbolically, in Singapore or in Japan, do not point an individual, but make it sure it is for everybody ; in Arab countries, do not admire what somebody else possess, because they might feel obliged to give it to you.

* if you are in a Muslim country during the Ramadan, eating and drinking before sunset, will cause great offence, if not get arrested; your "I didn't know" it's not an excuse; no sex during daylight hours.

* Austria, not far from here, the people are afraid of drafts, mainly in the public transport.


30. From Coast to Coast In America with no Money

Once upon a time there were some friends with no money but one wish : to travel from coast to coast in America. And like everywhere on earth, advertising brings a flow of money. So they sold every centimeter space of their van and from their clothes. How did they do it ?
Simpel, though : they put up an website and they asked up to $ 8 000 for a day to wear the advertising shirt. It's like being a "sandwich-man", got it ?;)
Also, they filmed their trip to attract the media and to give feed-back to their advertisers.

Another idea was to put up a site and sell every pixel of a site you made it yourself; the author of this idea got more than $ 1.000.000 together.

Ok, back to you. If you want to "copy" one of these ideas, you really have to plan your trip; do some research, in order to see if it is still worth your effort. Try ...but do not be amazed if it won't bring you an eurocent.
You can also walk; yes, I know it is very far, but the experiences you'll have...you can write a book about it( another source of money ! ). To start your research, read the book written by Ffyona Campbell, she did the same - walk from one coast to another.


31. Defy the Bermuda Triangle

This triangle is huge, about more than 1 300 000 square km, something like Alaska or twice the surface of Texas, so it's big - big...This northwest surface of Atlantic Ocean is responsible for the disappear of planes, ships, etc.
This triangle has three points ( N.B. - van vanzelfsprekend, zou ik zeggen...;) - Gecko) : Miami, Bermuda and San Juan (Puerto Rico).
If your courage supports you ( and money, too:D), give it a try; but how to sail through it and arrive unharmed the other side ? Well, it depends on what you think the cause of disappearences are : sudden storms can arise without any warning, mainly in the hurricane season, so try not to sail in the summer untill late autumn.
The Gulf Stream crosses the Triangle, do if your engine "abandons" you ( no engine, no sail in this area !), and somebody from your crew destroys your communication system , then you are adrift and quickly lost. When choosing your crew, just make sure no psychiatric "patients" are getting on your boat !

They say, once there, your compass needle goes "crazy" and indicates you an off-route; if so, use your GPS ( magnetic fields cannot influence it) or learn, much before starting to read very well the stars.

Michael Powell says : "another theory to explain boats sinking without a trace is the release of large quantities of methane hydrates from the continental shelves; these gases turn the water into a bubbling maelstrom in which ships lose their buoyancy and get sucked under the water. Gard against this natural hazard by bringing a canary, which should die when it breathes methane or carbon monoxide, or something like that ". You've been warned !8)

In fact, most of these "take care" tips should not be necessary ...the statistics show that here are not more accidents or mysterious diappearances than anywhere else.
So, theoretically, you should not worry.
Let's hope you'll be ok...


32. A Fine City to Get a Fine

You heard some rumours about Singapore, didn't you ? Anyway, here are some possibilities to kiss your money 'good-bye' and in some cases your freedom and even your dear life :

1. Since 1992 chewing-gum is illegal in Singapore; of course it's a nightmare to clean it, but it started with their MRT ( their metro system); it was their national pride but some "clowns" discovered that they can stick some chewing - gum on the trein door sensors, just for the fun of it. Result : the Prime Minister ordered a total ban on the product; in 2004, the law made some exceptions : it's ok to sale and use medicinal chewing-gum ;

2. if you "forget" to flush the toilet after you used it, a fine is waiting for you, just around the corner, starting with $150 ;

3. you got in an 'emergency' situation and it's a long way...not to Tipperary, but to the toilet and you pee in the elevator, better do it in a bottle, because their lifts have special detectors which will block the doors if they 'smell' urine...and you'll be freed by the authorities, just in time to 'ease' you from more cash ;

4. forget littering...don't drop anything but if it occurs, pick it up immediately ; if you think that nobody sees you and you still let something drop in a naïve way, your first time will cost you only $ 1000; if you keep on doing so, the fine gets double of the former fine, plus the cleaning costs ;

5. you are in a hurry, your bus can leave any time now....don't ! if you cross bus parking areas, it will cost you $ 500 for your first time, your second time will cost you double and if you keep on repeating the same offense, you might end up in jail up to 6 months. Do one of your friends been there ?

6. don't even think to smuggle or deal drugs...your 'reward' will be the death penalty. If you own or use drugs, they'll put you in the nick for.....a loooooong time !

Still finding Singapore attractive ??


33. Help ! Tiger Attack !

Backpacking is sometimes associated with low on money. If so and you are travelling in Asia, and you decide to sleep in the woods, you'll encounter one more problem : the tigers...and it's no shit !!
A tiger is a night animal and a very powerful one - you have not only 1 gram of chance !; if you are planning to put down your tent in their area ( without knowing it, of course), the chances you'll be attacked while sleeping, are real. You won't hear him, he'll stalk you up to your camping place.
Don't worry, you'll see his paws on your chest and biting your throat, but it will be so quick, that you will not feel (big deal of) the pain. Quick death though ! :shock:

But if you are ready to risk it anyway:rolleyes:, here are some solutions :

1. dig enough holes around your campsite and cover them with small dry branches and leaves; when the enemy will circle around your camp, the chances that it will fall in one of the holes, is rather big...you probably saw it in the films and it worked, so why not with you ??

2. put some sticky mingle of mustard oil and latex around your camp site, in such a way for the animal to step in it; the tiger will try to get rid of it, so his next unlucky moment will be stuck on his face, and everything he will touch, it will stick to his face and paws; rather embarassing manner to move around and hunt....;)

3. get some bamboo and break it in pieces; make the pieces very sharp and put them in the ground, sticky side up, all around your camp; if you have enough time before it's getting dark, then you should be safe. From tigers. But what about the poisonous snakes ??:wtf:


34. Charming ( flirting ?) a stewardess

They are glamorous, sexy,( N.B. - niet allemaal, natuurlijk :p ) and a lot of male-passengers dream of charming one. What it seems to be a luxurious life, it isn't ! They suffer from the cabin pressure, dry air, long hours with no sleep, kilometers walking up and down trying to satisfy everybody's needs, all these for a minimum loan.
What is THEIR dream ? Marry a millionaire, a rich pilot, a movie star or a rock star. Probably, you are none of these, otherwise you will not pay attention to this sod book, right ?
Whatever, how are going to do it, I mean, charming a charming stewardess ?

1. to start with, you should use the right airline, like Virgin or British Airways. If you fall for Asian babes, go for Singapore Airlines, Thai Airways; the easiest to be approached are the poor ones, from the budget airlines. They are underpaid, no satisfaction from their work. Dress accordingly, like you are travelling in the First Class ( see point 3 - "Get shot to First Class").

2. forget it, if your charming lady has worked 3 shifts in a row; ok, you'll say, but then she is the most vulnarable....vulnarable ok but not so exhausted that all that she wants is a sounding, long sleep; your chances are low on a long-haul flight. Instead, use the domestic flights or short international flights; you'll get much more chances.

3. as a frequent flyer, your chances to meet the same faces are growing and you have time to build up a relationship; some of the girls like to know you first.

4. look for a costume shop and rent a pilot uniform; besides your special treatment on board, you can get plenty of duty-free in a nice foreign hotel.

5. ...and use your imagination for once, you poor sod !


35. Get acquainted with...piranhas

Not a good idea, you say ? Sure it is, you'll get to know them and also how to escape untouched.
I suppose you know that their teeth are razor-sharp and interlocking...or what did you expect ?! It's a fearless predator, biting through steel being no problem for them.
Most of these "nice" fishes are living in South America's fresh waters, especially in the Amazon, Guyana and Paraguay. They prefer slow running rivers or still lakes. They socialize too, but not with you ! only among themselves. Selfish, isn't it ?;)
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot: they don't like cold water.

Piranhas eat almost everything : dead animals, insects, plants, fish and of course the unfortunate live animals that made one mistake : falling in the water.
Now, you'll be virtually left unharmed if the water level is high; but during the dry season, the water level is low, food hard to vind. Then they become nervous and eat whatever they can find. They get themselves hunted by dolphins and caimans, during the period of scarce food.
Piranhas are active during the day, so you can avoid them at night; what you cannot avoid at night are the caimans.

They can extremely well detect any drop of blood, so no swim if you have a wound that is bleeding or ...for ladies only, the period of...you know what I mean. Also, stay away if you chopped some meat or fish and you forgot to wash your hands. You'll attract them to you and I'm pretty sure it's not this kind of attention you're looking for...

If you still want a swim, try to be as still as you can be and don't splash around. Piranhas detect easily any vibration and you might be hunted. They mostly attack in places where a lot of people enjoy the pleasure of a fresh bath, all at once.

Ready for a swim ? :D


36. A tough adventure : the Foreign Legion

Your life is a mess...no job anymore, your wife left you because you are a loser and you had to sell your house to pay for your divorce, lawyers and you have a monthly "debt" to your wife.
To get away from it all...yes, the Foreign Legion. They pay all right, your former identity doesn't exist anymore, your past is history unless you do not have a criminal record.
This is a new life, full of adventure and a new man.

You sign for it, first time for minimum 5 years. In France. If you happen to be still married, it doesn't count, you'll be still considered as a single.
The pre-selection will be done in one of the Foreign Legion offices in France : Paris, Aubagne, Lille, Nantes, Strasbourg, Bordeaux, Lyon, Marseille, Nice, Perpignan and Toulouse. It will last 1-3 days, you'll be asked a lot of questions, among others, why do you so badly want to enlist Foreign Legion. You have also to present an ID ( no fake !), fill in a bunch of papers and pass a medical exam.

If you are done, then you have to pass the selection; it will take you 10 days and it will take place in Aubagne, France and nowhere else. You'll have to pass personality, psychotechnical, logic, physical, motivation, security and a more detailed medical tests. Your "roots" will be checked thoroughly via Interpol.

Right, you passed all tests. Now it's getting serious : 4 weeks of training, physically rough and very, very psychologically stressy. Everything is in French, you'll sing and march a lot. You're expected to know by heart the Legion's code of honour. And keep on singing...:p
Don't worry, you're not alone...there are 29 others like you in the same group. A, one more thing : you'll be systematically broken down as a human being and put again together as an elite combat choir with a unique esprit de cours.
You'll get to know the standard combat assault rifle of the French military, a FAMAS to be exactly.

If you pass all this, you'll graduate and you'll wear képi blanc, i.e. a sort of white helmet. Then, again 11 weeks of lovely training and keep on singing....until you are placed in your unit.

Three years further, you may ask for the French nationality ; if you get wounded during your active service, you may ask for it as Français par le sang versé, i.e. you are French by the blood you spitted around.

And keep on singing;)


36. How they race in Malaysia

Well, it is against the law. But they say "so what ? it's fun !" and it is as long as you are still alive...
They are cruising with modified cars or scooters.
Are you curious to "follow the guys from "Top Gear" ? It's not difficult : buy an casket on four wheels ( i.e. a very old car) or a casket on two wheels and just watch ( for the last seconds in your life) how fast can you die...

If you are ready, you'll be called in Malay "Mat Rampit", which means "to jump at full speed", and the noise must be accordingly. Just to impress your love, start working day and night at your "casket", trying to make it "fly" as fast as your garbage-car can go.
Learn stunts, as many as you can; the most idiot ( and dangerous) stunts are appreciated and they will forget to look at your "casket".

Where to find them ? On week-ends, in the night, in the city centers of KL, Selangor, Johor Bahru or on hill roads in Bukittingi, Teluk Bahang in Penang.
Watching the races is also forbidden. When you "smell" the cops, get lost as fast as your "casket" can offer you.:cool:


37. Being gay in Uganda

Uganda, a very nice country, warm and easy-go people...but God forbid if you are going gay.

Strange but true : to show your love to another guy it's very common fact : the guys walk up and down the street hand in hand, they touch each other too. But being openly gay, you'll end beaten up and occupying a jail "room" up to seven years.
And like any patriarchal culture, lesbianism is considered like a myth, so gay women don't count.

People are warm, open and welcoming ; one point : they don't believe in their country being gay might be an option. It's a taboo business...the foreigners brought it in their country.
Being gay existed for a long time ago and the missionaries stamped it like a sin.
Some of the local lobbyists are eager to introduce a life punishment for the ones who are openly gay.

And the Ugandan men found a solution, a practical one : either they have a girlfriend or even marry, to hide their true sexual orientation.

You, as a white, are looked at with suspicion if you show any interest in other men, but keep smiling will get you out of trouble. Stay away from other fellow travellers as it is very easy to misinterpret physical signals in this country.

There are no gay clubs; there is, though, an underground gay scene in the capital, Kampala. Anyway, watch out !


38. When in Thailand...

DON'T EVER show or express negative things about the Royal Family. We all know that, the ones who visited Thailand and read something about this beautiful country. If you do it anyway, you'll "disappear" behind bars for up to 15 years. And inform yourself first, how their nicks look like from inside...;)

In Europe, we can laugh at them, put the last juicy news in newspapers even if we are trespassing their privacy ( they are also humans, you know ?! ), any kind of photo's, ...ask the paparazzi, they know all kinds of tricks to harass them.

Not so in Thailand. Not so at all ! The law in Thailand, concerning the King and His Family is the most strictly law in the world.
Michael Powell gives us a quote from the Thai Constitution : " the King shall be enthroned in a position of revered worship and shall not be violated. No person shall expose the King to any sort of accusation or action." Michael Powell cites also the Thailand's criminal code : " whoever defames, insults or threatens the King, Queen or the Heir-apparent, shall be punished with imprisonement of 3 to 15 years".
The law can be widely interpreted, so take care :!:

BUT, Michael Powell cites the King Himself : "Actually, I must also be criticized. I am not afraid if the criticism concerns what I do wrong, because then I know. The King can do wrong".
Then, where's the problem ? The problem lies by the military who are enforcing the law and by the politicians who are using the law to eliminate the opposition.

IF you drop a Thai coin or a banknote, take it back very carefully; just remember : it shows the image of the King's head !
DON'T use your feet to stop it being blown by the wind ( a banknote, of course !) or rolling away from you; it's as bad as stomping on the King.
DON'T smash a fly with a newspaper if the image of the King is printed on !
DON'T use that newspaper also for toilet purposes !
You've been warned :frown:


39. Hitchhike from L.A. to N.Y.C.

Just how crazy, lunatic, suicidal or desperate do you have to be to hitchhike nowadays ??!! We are living in the 21st century, guys !
If you decided to wait for a bus and you get out of your mind from boredom, leave everything for wat it is and venture for hitchhiking. You'll get rid of boredom, maybe for ever ( read : killed) !
But first thing first :
* buy some maps, so you know where you're heading and not finish in a crazy trucker's lock-up ;

* dress in bright and clean clothes, so drivers can see you from far away, but not terribly bright to make drivers think you're nuts or French ;

* don't hitchhike in downtown ; take a bus to the edge of the town ;

* look for a safe hitchhike spot, where everybody can stop legally; hitchhiking on the highway is illegal...so you'll have to choose between much traffic ( more chances! ) and be arrested ;

* travel together with a fellow traveller; if you are with 3, you won't get anywhere ; or you will be picked up by lonely males or females; do not squeeze in a full car !

* after an hour waiting, start walking in your direction; sometimes you'll get a ride in a wrong direction...to a better hitchhike spot, much better than wait in a bad place; you might walk a while, but stay happy; it will influence your attitude and the way the drivers will treat you ;

* take some food and water with you ; you never know when and where you'll be able to eat again ! the tank stations are not cheap !

* never mention your final destination; if you get nervous and uncomfortable with your driver, you can always say "this is my final destination. thank you for the lift !";

* an ideal spot for hitchhiking is a tank station; it's safe, covered ( in case of rain or snow) and you can ask freely for a lift ; the more commercial the area is, the better; you'll be on camera ( not "candid camera", you fool !:rolleyes:) in case a serial killer or a rapist will offer you the lift you needed;

* DON'T hitchhike at night; it's not adventurous, it's just dangerous and crazy ( N.B. - ik heb het gedaan, maar ik had geluk : de Duitser was niet achter mijn vel maar achter een bak bier en een fles vodka; hij reed met maar een voet...nee, hij was niet invalid, hij had juist "a good time" tegen 210 km/uur...;) - Gecko) ;

* use a cardboard and write your destination in big letters and in short; the drivers have no time to read a whole map ! and do it in short lifts, instead of waiting a whole day in the burning sun !

* sit in front; back seats may look comfortable, but if they have child locks, it doesn't look good ; keep your bag always with you !!! if they steal your clothes ( your bag is locked in the trunk), is not so bad like if they steal your money, credit cards, ID, and so on...

* keep the most of your money and credit cards in your underwear; the thieves know the trick with the sock !

* if you don't trust the situation, stay there and wait for something more trustworthy !


40. Land A Plane in Red Square

I hope you know where this "Red Square" is located; if not, think Russia, more precisely Moscow. Uh ?!:wtf:
Don't "tell" me you never heard about that German guy who landed his light aircraft on a bridge, not far from St. Basil Cathedral and then taxied it to very close Red Square.
You wanna do it ? Short, you need all the luck in the world...really, you can use it...You need to pass air defense systems which are more sophisticated nowadays and if you think 9/11, every rogue airplane are certainly to be shot down.

But what the heck, here are 5 steps to do it :
* rent a plane in Hamburg, Germany; the best choices are : "Reims Cessna F172", "Piper PA-28 Cherokee", " Grumman American AA-5" series, "Diamond DA40".

* leave in the morning, fly to Finland and tank at Helsinki-Malmi Airport; ask the air traffic control to clear to fly to Stockholm (Sweden) and once in the air, turn off all your communication system and go east.

* at a certain time, the air traffic control may think you crashed and they will start looking for you and rescue you; this is not cheap operation and they will fully charge you for it.

* cross the Baltic coastline to Estonia and then turn direction Moscow; by now, the Russian military gave you a combat number and several SAM's ( Surface-Air-Missiles) got you in their sights; the German guy was lucky because the permission to engage was withheld; nowadays, post 9/11, you won't be...

* if God travels with you, by now you are still alive and you should look for interceptor planes; if they are very kind, they will not shoot you down and you may land near Staraya Russa, south of Veliky Novgorod; put some other clothes on, eat your food and make your final step : Moscow; ask God, if he is still with you, to turn off the Russian Central Air Defence System for maintenance; if he complies, in the evening you'll reach Red Square; if you'll land in the Square, you'll kill a bunch of people.

Think "JAIL"...but if you got so far, the rest is just a piece of cake;) .


41. How to travel by subway for free

Moscow has one of the largest subway network, but New York has one of the oldest. And I know, you guys, you like N.Y. and spend a few days in the city that never sleeps, right ?
The N.Y. subway is quite cheap, but it cannot be cheaper than if you use it for free. Let's see what we can do about it :

* you can fold your subway card in such a way to unlock the "door", even if you don't have enough credit on the card; fold the card along the "T " from the word "metrocard" and then swipe it; it is possible you do it a couple of times; it's not working ? leave it and go away, otherwise they can see you and trouble is around the corner. But anyway, keep on trying...

* you can also jump over; yes, there are guards but they are so fat, they cannot run very far and catch you. DON' T fall on the tracks; without legs, you don't get anywhere !

* you pay for using 1 line and then you change the trains, you can ride all day long for the price of 1 ticket; the card gives you 2 hours for free for a free transfer; if so, you can use the bus and come back within 2 hours to use the subway for free !


42. Swim with GWS

The ones who read the "Waltzing Matilda" in the sub-forum "Australia & New Zealand" know already some things about GWS and what this stands for....if not I'll write it again : it stands for "great white shark". Satisfied now ?
Yes, it's a killer and there are few more efficient than this one. They have teeth sharper than a scalpel blade and you are at the top of his "menu" ...the moment you put one leg in the water. Scary, uh ?
If you are suicidal, crazy or no chicken, you can swim in the same water together ( there is plenty of space for everybody!) but take care, like :
* Florida occupies the first place concerning the highest incidence of shark attacks and Australia, South Africa, Brazil and Hawaii follow right behind;

* some "family" of GWS come inshore at dawn, dusk and during the night, so stay away of the waters when it's a high risk place ;

* be quiet, don't splah around and don't let children and pets in the water; they like to play, and the GWS & Co have a very good system of detecting activity on the surface of the water....and they come to have a look, they are curious and there you go !:shock:
That's why surfers get twice more chances to be attacked than a diver; a diver moves very slowly and the vibrations of the water are very low;

* a bleeding wound will get GWS in a minute next to you; they can smell blood and other body fluids in minutes; you don't want his company, do you ? If not, stay out of water and if you dive, don't pee in your wetsuit if GWS is swimming around !

* a GWS takes first a taste and then come back to finish his meal; if you can get away as quickly as you can, you will still be alive, if not.....

* a GWS has good eyes, he can see contrasts so avoid wearing jewelry or high contrast clothes;

* avoid the company of fishermen and wash your hands thoroughly if you touched dead animals or cleaned fish;

* don't swim alone; if you're attacked, your fellows can take the pieces and bring them out of water;

For more info, read about GWS in the sub-forum "Australia & New Zealand", "Waltzing Matilda..." and DON'T PANIC !!
The easiest way is no swimming if it's GWS territory; it will not be written "No Tresspassing" but you are clever enough to know what to do, don't you ?;)

43. Look and Find the Most Poisonous Animals

Cool ! But do you really want to ? People go on safari's, jungles trekkings....a piece of cake ! You are an intrepid traveller, so you should do something special, something not everybody does...like look for the most poisonous animals. Ask your friends if they did it; many will say you are crazy...so what ?! Anyway, don't get too friendly with them, you might end in a body bag and sent home in the cargo hold...

* Poison Dart Frog

If there is " poison" in the name, you already know something about...this little for sure NO Kermit; if you touch it, you'll feel green. Don't worry, you won't meet this little creature in Europe, you have to go and look for it in the rainforests of Central America and South America. So...NO HUGS !

* Deathstalker Scorpion

You wanna see one ? Go to the deserts of North Africa or the Middle East.. Mr. Scorpion is yellow ( he is not sick !) and is not like his fellows. His sting is deadly dangerous : very poisonous and it gives you a very intense pain. If you got stung, you'll just have enough time to feel an intense pain, then an agonizing fever followed by coma...and the end is that you are history !

* Blue-ringed Octopus

Do you like calamaris a la romana ?! Or grilled octopuses ?! They are very tasty...but this one isn't .
To locate this special octopus, go under water. He is not big, just a ping-pong ball ; The difference is that with one you can play table tennis and have a good time, with the other...just stay away, as far away as you can !

The octopus can camouflage itself very well, and the rings are visible only if you provoke him ( not very wise of you;)). So you'll have a hard time to find it ; once under the water, be VERY careful if you check the corals and the rock crevices.
The poison is found in his saliva and there is no known antidote for his poison.

If you are bitten, your last hope is a respirator unit, as soon as possible...if you are quickly assisted, you need this respirator unit for 24 hours, until the poison will get out of your system.
Still wanna meet one ?? Then look for Mr. Octopus in the shallow tidy pools of the Pacific, from Australia to Japan. Have fun !

* Inland Taipan

For the ones who don't know him, a taipan is a snake with one desire : to be left alone.

You can meet him in the middle of Australia ( it seems that all deadly poisonous animals have there their home base! ) and the trouble is that he changes his colour according to the season he is in ; in the winter, he is dark brown coloured ; in the summer, he is olive green.

His poisonous bite can kill 100 human beings :toxic:; but once again, if not provoked, he won't bite. So, leave him alone and DON'T poke him with your stick.

* Sydney Funnel-web Spider

Yes, once again Australia...I told you that everything most poisonous lives there, didn't I ?
Wel, he is born there, he didn't migrate, his birth place is Sydney.

Only Mr. Funnel Spider has poison which is dangerous for our nervous system. He comes out to look for his "bride"; he is bluish-black to dark plum coloured.
If you spot one, STAY AWAY from him, as far as you can because he is quite agressive and he is able to attack you, he is daring, you know..:toxic:

44. Be a devil on the "Autobahn"

350 km/h ? Is it quick enough for you ? Just think that there are a few places on earth where you can reach this speed, and one of them is not far from here..."Deutsche Autobahn".
This is one thing ; second, you need to find a car capable to reach this speed. For instance, a Porsche Twin Turbo, to start with, but this is not the fastest one. But you can buy a cheaper one and then spend hundreds of hours and euro's in a garage to adapt it.

For the "connoisseurs", they know that it is an enormous difference between driving 300 or 350 km/h. Nowadays, a Bugatti Veyron, for instance, is able to reach 350 km /h and feel very stable, but in this case, we "speak" about over 1 million euro's. But if you have an enormous rich uncle in America...there is no problem;)

Everybody knows that the Deutsche Autobahn ...one of the best in Europe.
First, go and get used to it, because even a slight curve can be a problem.
Second, drive early in the morning, mid-morning or at night, when the traffic is low.
Third, once you got your "toy", take somebody else with you, as a co-pilot to watch your speedometer and look ahead. You cannot take your eyes from the highway, not even for one second, if your life is still dear to you.

The highway in Germany is used with very fast cars; most of them are sport cars. The ones who traveled by car in Germany have witnessed what's like driving 150 - 170 km/h, and feel like you are driving 30 km/h !:p
The left lane is used only for passing, the technical testing of cars is very rigorous, the bitum is of a better quality and let's face it...the Germans drive better and safer.

( N.B. - but have you ever seen an accident on the "Autobahn"? I did, several times...and you can never recognize what sort car it was...pieces are spread all over...I don't say more...:eek: - Gecko). Anyway, take care !

44. Enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a Suit of Armor

According to an old British law, it is forbidden to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armor; people think that the clanking noise would have woke up the MP's. ( N.B. - I think, personally, that it should be made legally and enforced in Belgium, as we saw, ( how many times?!) our MP's sleeping nicely on our tax money !..."tell" me I'm wrong :p -Gecko)

First of all, you need such a suit ; an authentic wearable replica will cost you more or less 12 000 euro; buy it on "e-bay" or another on line sort of such thing and let it sent to an UK adress, so you don't have to pay too much freight costs, and anyway, you need it there. Tighten the adjustable straps to suit your body. The material used is carbon steel. Look for a full over-the-collar style chain mail coif for about 50 euro to complete your look. A sword would be nice, but it will attract the attention of the security unit and in UK, they shoot first and afterwards they ask questions !
Also, you need a squire; not in fashion anymore, but ask a friend to help you put it on; you cannot do it alone. Go to the toilet, wear some tight fitting sweatpants and a shirt with long sleeves underneath for your own comfort. Then, dress up...

To reach Westminster, take the metro, District, Circle or Jubilee lines until the Westminster station. You can also use the bus and get off near Parliament Square on Victoria Street, opposite the Houses of Parliament.

To get in : free tours are held year round for UK residents but they have to apply through their local MP; or they can pay for a tour during the MP's summer holiday. The rest of the world's visitors can tour the Houses of Parliament only during their summer holiday.

AVOID sunny days ( there are not many in Uk, as we all know); you'll get very warm anyway if a police unit grounded you. If you managed to escape untouched, there are metal detectors which will go crazy, "seeing" you with such a costume. If so, don't try to bluff; make a mad dash for the Members' Lobby.

Keep us posted...;)

45. How to keep quiet a metal detector

It's a standard procedure in every airport, but you know it, it's nothing new. But how to avoid it ?

Almost all airport metal detectors use pulse induction. The detector sends a short but very powerful pulse of electricity and so it creates a brief magnetic field; by measuring how quickly the magnetic field collapses, the detector can "tell" if metal is present. The magnetic field lasts a fraction longer when it meets metal, just the same as the way a sound wave will bounce off a room with metal walls, and cause an echo.

They say it is possible to hide metal objects in asbestos sheet, rubber or concrete but this is bullshit because the airports also use X-ray machines and these materials would show up as anomalies.

It is very possible that secret hi-tech materials with the strength and functionality of metal have been created by military or secret services, but you'll never get so far, it's very "top secret" for us, So, get used with the idea you'll never be part of " Die Hard " or " In the line of fire"....
Sorry guys, this time I cannot help you...;)

46. Remember this : " How they race in Malaysia"?

No ? See nr. 36 then.

But what about Dubai ? Here it comes : Watch out street racers, Dubai cops have Lamborghini !
According to CNN it goes like this : Dubai already has the world's tallest building, the world's largest shopping mall, and the largest man-made archipelago. So it's no surprise that the country's police would drive one of the world's most extravagant and expensive cars.

The latest addition to the force's fleet is a head-turning Lamborghini Aventador, finished in green and white -- the colors of the Dubai Police force. Some more details for you, just in case you wanna outrun them :
Dubai Police have revealed the latest addition to their fleet -- a Lamborghini Aventador
The Italian sports car has been specially-customized for the country's police force
Estimated worth of around $500,000, it has a maximum speed of 217mph (349kph)

It looks like this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DzX0ZKsbg0
:wtf:

47. Climb Eiffel Tower on your own and no ropes !

Ha, Eiffer Tower...., everybody knows it and a lot have visited it; they went up, but by elevator.
But you are not Mr. Everybody, so do something to stand out of the crowd...like climbing it.

Before you are at it, read "With Bare Hands" written by the nutcase and "human spider" Robert Alain, the most famous and most successful free climber in the world. You'll read about climbing philosophy, practical tips, etc.

The first level of the tower is easily reached, there are stairs. The second level, same story. But the last part can be reached only by elevator; but in your case, free climbing. You'll save some euro - barely enough to drink a coffie and eat a "croissant" on Champs-Elysées; but you don't do it for money, you do it for fun. Either way, you'll get arrested and fined when they catch you...and they will !

According to Michael Powell, here are some "tips for death-free urban climbing" :
"1. cut your fingernails ;
2. buy some good quality climbing shoes ;
3. don't look down, except when tying your shoelaces ;
4. don't climb when it's wet - surfaces become too slippery ;
5. only climb structures that support a load, not ornamental features ;
6. when resting, straighten your arms and lean back ;
7. climb slowly and methodically ;
8. carry some ID or your dentist's phone number for when you get scraped off the sidewalk ; "

Good luck !:p

48. Eat Road Kill

Imagine you're on a holiday, driving, but your money level is low, not to say very low. Your option...the cheapest and healthiest is to pick up the "victims" of the traffic. :eek: would be your reaction, but your reaction won't fill your belly, right ?

Here come the reason you should "dine" this way :
* even for the vegetarians, it should not be a problem; don't feel guilty you eat meat, because the "dish" was killed by accident; it happens all over the world;

* no costs ;

* it's the healthiest meat you can get; if you compare it with the meat you buy in a supermarket, you insult "the victim"; the meat is pure ! no chemicals are stuffed in, that you shouldn't know about ;

* you know the "source"; it's wild, it was free to roam around, it's fresh ( moastly), seasonal and rich in flavour and nutrients ;

* if you want to use the fur, do it without wrong feelings; the killer is not you ;

Collect only the "victims" who are intact and fresh; how can you know ? simple : on a very busy road, if you passed it yesterday and it was nothing lying on the road and you pass again today, then it will be fresh.
AVOID or simply DON'T pick up a road kill if it's in pieces, spread all over, with bad smell, dull eyes, with flies or even maggots; you can have real troubles with your "Internal affair ministry";)
Preparation : barbecued or cooked with condiments of your choice. Enjoy !:vork:

49. Be a Tornado Chaser

We don't have so much choice in Europe; for a real chaser, you have to go to USA. Anyway, it's fun : you have to travel ( so, it's holiday time !
:dance: and you are "chasing" something bloody dangerous and impressive) and you're joining the club of "nature most dangerous elements" ( be proud of yourself !). Not all of them are killers : many of them end in nothingness ; some of them destruct the landscape for hours; but a few wipe out whole communities.
Next year, take a 3 week holiday, fly to US and land in the central plains and...go chasing !

Your chances : either you need to "feel" the weather or hang out with more experienced tornado chasers. And...oh, don't forget to do it safely !;)
In the States, 40% of tornadoes "enter" the scene between March and July. Your best bet is to use Boulder ( Colorado) as a good base camp.You can see for hundreds of miles around and if you see your chance, go for it !

DON'T DO IT ON YOUR OWN ! It's extremely dangerous. The real experienced chasers have all their technology in the back of their van / pick-up. Antennae, satellite dishes, screens,computers and satellite-linked TV's, all these help them to predict how the weather will be like.

For your first chase, either you find a real experienced chaser and ask him nicely to allow you to go with him or you can book a "tornado safari" via a tour agency of skilled chasers. "Google" will be of a real help to you...

You'll travel hundreds of miles and the rest of your time you'll spend it eating snacks on truck parking lots and wait for something to happen.
Other hazards : aquaplaning, crashings, being struck by a lightning...a lot of fun !:p

50. Go swimming down the Amazon

Yes, you can do it. The first swimmer was a Slovenian, called Martin Strel; he swom the whole length when he was 53 years old.
The Amazon is the second longest river in the world; the first one is the Nile; but if you consider the amount of water it flows, then it is definitly the first river.

First thing first. The source: the most distant is in the Peruvian Andes, in Nevado Mismi glacial stream. But of course, you cannot start swimming in a stream of bloody cold water.
So, start in Atalaya, in Peru and finish in Belem, Brazil. The Slovenian did it in 66 days. And you ?

It's not that easy. You need some preparations to make : like a flotilla with friends, locals, all in all 45 people to take care of you, as your head is in the water ! They are there, with you, to help you stay away from any danger, steer your course, feed you, help you to get out of the water, treat your wounds and give you massages and...cheer you up ! :p

Your training : if you are a fit marathon swimmer, i.e. you are accustomed with swimming all along of Mississippi, Danube or Yangtze, then you'll still need to train for 18 months at least and get fat ( the fat will be useful during your long Amazon swimming and don't be afraid...you'll loose it quickly ) AND swim at least 14 hours a day and about 40 km every day.
You'll be often in very much pain and experience delirium while working your way down the mighty river, you cannot get out without help and sleep ...well, not more than 5 hours per night.

Hazards : plenty ! Such as : sunburn ( even if you put plenty of sunblock, wear a hat, a mask and you wear an wetsuit) up to second degree burns, which might get infected, heat exhaustion, dehydration, muscle cramps, piranhas, crocodiles, bull sharks, the infamous toothpick fish, the constantly flow and debris, unexpected currents ; sometimes, your support crew has to throw buckets of animal blood just to keep you safe from the predators.:wtf:

At the end of your journey, the ocean tides will pull you back upriver, it means you need all your energy to get ashore.

And then you'll need at least 8 months to recover... and this:beer: might help you as well...


51. Drive like a maniac

Driving nowadays is tough job and it's getting tougher every day. The highways and national ways are full of idiots and their purpose is to get you, while you are a mere pedestrian; the scenery changes if we are dealing with lunatics behind the steering wheel : they slow you down, they cut you off, they overtake you and destroy your "bonus malus".
But there is a solution to everything : get bad, get mean, and like Michael Jackson sang : I'm bad !" Show them who is efectively the real boss. :twisted:
First step : the steering wheel. Here, YOU are in control; don't use two hands because it makes you tense and too cautious and all these are not safe if you wanna be a real devil. Use only one hand, and drive with your thumb around the bottom of the wheel ( at 5 o'clock). Now you have a hand free to play cards, for example, check your map ( in case you've never heard about the existance of "Tom Tom "), eat and/or drink, empty the ashtray, call your mother-in-law, and many more.

Second step : the road rage...it's just the natural answer of your body to other people's idiot driving. Here you have 6 reasons to get bad :
- the driver before you is driving like crazy ;
- you are too late for...
- you start talking to yourself; among other things you say " Where is my gun?"
- the one in front of you has a better car ;
- you feel like a loser, asking yourself how come you're stuck behind an idiot, while other people have a fantastic life ;
- you married the wrong girl ;

If you got the road rage, you are on your way to eliminate yourself from the face of the Earth. And anyway, the lunatics behind their steering wheel are everywhere, you can' t eliminate all of them !

At night...you are driving bloody fast and in an instant you see a pair of eyes twinckling innocently ahed of you. Turn up your music and waste the ******; not so in Scandinavia, where it might be an elk. Don't try anything bigger than a fox or a wolf.

Traffic jams : always go for the faster lane ; it's a story written by the cops that all lanes are running at the same speed.

Accident : don't ever forget who gets the blame; after a collision, if you are conscious, jump out of the car and start immediately cursing the other driver ( if he is still alive, that is) in a river of vulgar abuse. Then, if you have a lawyer, call him from the " crime" scene. Even if it's your fault, by calling him you'll start creating a doubt !

Good luck ! :D


52. Travelling on the Dark Side, if you dare !

There are some dark spots on the map of the world, like Burundi,Gaza Strip, Syria nowadays, Lebanon" ( for all I know about it ) and we can go on.. But, there are "stars" like :

* Afghanistan = Taliban is still alive and kickin' ; you can be kidnapped and murdered ( hopefully for you, only kidnapped), especially outside Kabul; the al-Qaida are still roaming freely around. Take care where you walk, there are stll unexploded mines:toxic: , mainly if you want a hike in the mountains; there are very nice natural beauties, but take a guide with you !
All we hope is to see you back...ever...

* Iraq = This is the real one ! You are nowhere safe, even if you'd like to see the supposedly " Green Zone" in Baghdad. People are still killed on a daily basis and healthcare is as good as inexistant. No government ifrastructure. Everything is screwed up. But it remains in "the dark side"...and how many of your pals have been there ?

* Somalia = If you want to play the "Pirate of the Seas", this is your chance and place. You know, check if the embassy of your country is still there and functioning ( not the building of, ****** !), just because you might need it if you get in trouble; attacks on foreigners are no jokes, they do occur and frequently even. Only parts of the south of the country are rather calm, they say ...

* Democratic Republic of Congo = you wanna be a rebel ? Join the active rebel groups and tension and crime, carjackings, kidnappings, rape and murders are no news anymore. If you like real thrillers, don't let us stop you....;)

* Cote d ' Ivoire = the country is very unstable, this is violent crimeand armed robbery are still present. But it has a gorgeous nature and plenty of beaches and it is a place where "homo toeristicus" is not threating you and your piece of beach...so go for it ! And the hazards come as a bonus :p

53. On the Pyramids !

You do not need to look for them, you can see them from Cairo...They are there, a cople of kilometers outside Cairo. To work your way up the pyramids, it's against the law, because you can damage them; it's very steep, and the chance to pass away is very great.
And still...the temptation is great. The stones are not anymore what they used to be, i.e. highly polished white limestone. The time and the nature transformed them in their present state.

If you cannot resist temptation to go up, DON'T DO it during the daylight. You'll be easily spotted and arrested by the guards.

What to do : conceal you on the site, about 3 a.m.; you are covered by the dark. The site is still guarded by patrooling guards with dogs. If they catch you, you may be able to " buy" them.

Go to the northern face of the pyramids where it is relatively in the dark; the sides looking to Cairo are luminated by spotlights + the light coming from Cairo.

Menkaure pyramid is the easiest to go up, small, far from the entrance; if you reach the top, you'll see you are only at the half of the other pyramids.
Khafre is too dangerous because of the loose stones.
But Khufu is the real challenge and it's waiting for you.;)

Khufu is the biggest of all the pyramids, and also the only survivor of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World; it is also erodated by the nature elements, but lesser than the other two pyramids.

The record for going up and back down at the basis is less than 7 minutes; the lucky one is an Egyptian guide.

Once at the top, enjoy as much as you can the wonderful panorama of Cairo and the desert. Because you'll probably fall and break your neck during the treacherous descent.:shock:

I wish you all the luck you can have, you'll need it very much !



54. Walk All the Way Through Great Britain Naked


The most southwest place is Land's End ( right name, for a place that ends there...) and the most northern place is John O'Groats, in Caithless, Scotland. The way between these 2 places, by road, is 874 miles long. There were many people walking this way, but only one did it on foot and stark-naked, twice. Former Royal Marine Stephen Gough.
Before starting it, think very well why you are doing this; the reason will accompany you all the way up/down or down/up. Expect a lot of attention from naked fellows, just to show you support, some press, and a lot of attention when they arrest you. You might also be beaten up, so prepare some defensive material too.

Hazards :
The weather, repeatedly arrested for public indecency ; you'll need a backpack, socks, hiking boots, and sometimes even a hat. It took Stephen 7 months to walk this length, because he was arrested 15 times and spent about 140 nights in jail, mainly because he did not want to dress up in court !
Expect to be more arrested in Scotland ( their laws are tougher then in England). A tip from Stephen : article 6 of the European Conventionon Human Rights - Right to a Fair Trial is being breached by making you wear clothes in Court; being beaten up is a bonus you' ll get.
Good Luck !:D



55. Escape from "Bangkok Hilton"


The Klong Prem jail in Thailand it's called "Bangkok Hilton"; personally I doubt very much that it has something to do with the famous "Hilton" hotels chain. It's a place where you're doing hard time or wait for your trial. Don't be amazed, there are also farangs ( westerners) there.
There is only one soul who did escape and he wrote a book about it, called accordingly "Escape" - David McMillan. He gives you 3 important advices to you, if you managed to get in there and you think freedom suits you better : "the will to leave", "the ability to keep secrets" and, enormous important "having close friends".

Inspiration ?

Watch "National Geographic Channel", mainly "Hard Time" and "Breakout"; you don't need to look any further !

How to escape ?

You "managed" to get in...what you did, is less important ( drugs smuggling - more than 100 grams of drugs is more than enough - , the royal family offended, etc). And you are chained. You can avoid being chained if you follow the deed of Mr. McMillan : "loose" your your charge sheet and let the guards see the lawyer's sheet, on which he scribbled "41,9 grams" . If you manage to do that ( extra charges for your lawyer) , then you will not be chained; conclusion : you can escape. :yahoo:

You'll be not alone, there are plenty of "customers" like you; if they see you escaping, they'll pull the alarm bell; and so will do the guardians, of course. Escape means cooperation and friendship with your cell "neighbours".

So, create a network of "assistants" inside the jail as wel as outside. The outside "party" will help you smuggling wat you need. The valuta is money and aspirin in sachets called "Tam Jai". The rest of the items you'll find in the workshops of your "accommodation".

According to Michael Powell, you'll need : " 160 feet of army boot webbing, 4 hacksaw blades, oil, clean pants for outside ( prisoners wear shorts), 4 rolls of gaffer tape, 8 picture frames, bamboo poles, heavy rubber gloves, bottled drinking water, collapsible umbrella, AND backup passport !"

The Plan

* start at midnight by using the hacksaw to cut the thick bar of your cell window. You'll be busy for quite some time, like 2 1/2 hours to 3 hours. Cut through the bottom of the bar and at two-thirds of the way to the top, and then bend to create a gap. Wrap wet towels to camouflage the noise and diminish the vibrations.

* wedge a plank through the bottom of the bar; take off your clothes ( not all of them, only your shirt...:rolleyes:) and put oil on your upper body; leave some money to your "ex-collegues", they will need them...to bribe the officers and get less punished because they didn't call them when you were gone !

* squeeze through the gap ( with some good-will, you'll get through the 8 inch gap...you'll be skinny enough, they are not famous for feeding royally their prisoners!!), tie the webbing to the plank and start descending, like you learned in the mountains !

* then break into the nearby prison workshop ( the best is the paper box factory), choose 8 thickest bamboo poles you can find, attach the picture frames with the tape and now you have 2 ladders. Scale 3 major and 2 minor walls. It'll keep you busy for the rest of the night. Before reaching the final wall, use your ladders to pass the "Mars Bar Creek", an 8 foot wide "creek" which is in fact raw sewage.

* wash yourself quickly with the remaining water, change clothes and DO NOT forget to put your rubber gloves on, before climbing the jail's electric fence. It's almost daybreak. "Land" with the help of your black umbrella and start walking calmly to the main road, where you can find a taxi. Don't worry, nobody will think you just escaped from jail; how many detainees did you see in your life carrying an umbrella ?!

* stop on your way to the airport by your friend, collect the much needed documents and ...get out of the country ! :vliegtuig

You'll find more informations, if you read 100 Places You Will Never Visit, by Daniel Smith.


56. Diving for your life

How about "cliff diving"? Just to look for the thrill of it...it's also called "tombstoning", the name itself says enough...
If you wanna "play" it, you cannot make any mistake. It will be your last one !
Don't underestimate your impact with the water...it's like hitting the concrete from 20 feet height !

We are not going to tell you how to cliff-diving ( life in jail can be hard ;)), ask the local guys.
What we can do is to sum up some places where they do it :

* Kahekili's Leap, Lanai, Hawaii - the birthplace of cliff-diving ;

* Wolfgangsee, Austria - Hochzeitskreuz ;

* La Quebrada, Acapulco, Mexico ;

* Ponte Brolla, Vallemaggia, Switzerland ;

* Porto Venere, Italy ;

* Red Rock Park, South Burlington, Vermont ( USA) ;

* Tar Creek Falls, California (USA) ;

* Cedar Creek Falls, San Diego, California (USA) ;

* Rick's Café, Negril, Jamaica ;

* Hoover Dam, Nevada - Arizona border, (USA) ;

One crazier than the other...:bom:

Have a look : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyEYVfCPF6s

or this, it's more freaky : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY861UGa1Fo

and this is the max : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h61q5tpHoo


57. How to drive your flight fellows crazy

Everything they tried before, like occupying the arm rests, kicking the seat in front of you for hours, has no fun anymore. We are not responsible for the measures taken against you !

1. Hide 50 pairs of nail clippers and distribute them on board, just before the take off, for free. This should keep the plane on tarmac for several hours ! The end might be disastrous for you :evil: AND your finances.

2. Tell everyone that can hear you that you reserved on-line the safest seat on the plane ; look for the ones who were not so lucky and make them aware of their bad and dangerous seats...to make yourself trustworthy, give them some statistics ! :wtf:

3. Behave like a 2-year old ;

4. Call the nurse on duty while flying and tell her loudly enough that you changed your breasts into smoke detectors ;

5. Tell as loud as you can that Capt. X X III is your fifth cousin, he was removed 6 times and begin to elaborate your family tree and the connection between the "branches" ;

6. Fly "Saudia" and start yelling, before take off, that all foreign-looking people with moustaches are terrorists and you don't want to fly because it is too dangerous !

7. Spend your time by counting loudly how many times your neighbor winches, and challenge the people around you to a staring competition ; :D

8. Write the names of the people you would like to kill on your food tray and on your forehead ;

9. Play with your beard / moustache nervously, "play" with your shoe, pray loudly for a few minutes, then open your laptop and look for this : http://boortz.com/mp3/archive/countdown.swf

HAVE A NICE FLIGHT ! ;)



58. How to fight culture shock


We all experience it, sooner or later, once being cut from your familiar reference points. It's called "culture shock"; my first one occured in US, the second in Bali.
It starts like this : strange sounds, views, smells, habits, and even other sorts of toilets...yeah, it's also strange ...for everybody. So you suffer from a physical and psycological stress.
Learn to recognize the symptoms; here they come : a month later, after you're used with your new environment, you start feeling homesick, irritation, rootless, apathy, etc; then, start searching for your co-nationals.
If the same thing keeps on and on, more than 6 months, look for a doctor....not there....but when you get home !!! :rolleyes:

How to survive it :

* admit that this is not your problem, but the others around you; be brave and keep your cultural colour and you'll never ever go native ! ...what bullshit !

* there is not such thing like "right" and "wrong" ; it's just "wrong", and that's it !

* keep using your language ; if you try to learn "their" language, they'll think you're nuts ( remember how stupid it sounds when foreigners try to speak your language !) :p ; try to count from 1 to 10 in their language, how to stop a taxi and ask for a room without any insects; if you don't succeed, don't hide your frustration and anger...:bom:

* you know your culture is superior to theirs, but don't make a point of it; admit to yourself that their government is not worth a dime and their monthly income is equal to a cup of coffee back home !

* stick to your fellows and laugh everything off....it will help you and your fellow expats to let off some steam !



59. How to break into the bedroom of Queen Elizabeth II


If you read " 100 places you will never visit - the world's most secret locations" by Daniel Smith, you know by now that you're not the first "visitor" in the bedroom of Her Majesty.
If not, a quick up-to-date :
* location = Westminster, London, England ;
* nearest population hub = London ;
* secrecy overview = high security location : the private chamber of the Queen ;
The Palace has 775 rooms, of which 52 are royal and geust bedrooms.
So, DON'T make any mistake and choose the right bedroom !
In the book, page 113, you have a map of the palace; how can it be difficult to reach the right room ?! :p

But since 2004, Scotland Yard itself took over the security of the royals. There is an electric fence around the palace, too; it gives the too curious people a shock strong enough to disable any nosy one until they are caught.

If you insist, here is what you have to do :

* if you managed to pass the walls, climb up a drainpipe onto the roof and then climb through an unlocked window on the roof ;

* dress code is very informal, as you have to climb a lot; just pants and a t-shirt will do ; some others, before you, were even naked ( not advisable, you are too exposed !! ) ;

* once you are in, go straight to the bedroom, Her bedroom, not just any bedroom, you sod ! The best time is when the guard goes off duty ; it gives you just a few minutes ;

* be polite and knock at the door ! After all, you are "visiting" the Queen of Great Britain and other territories...go straight to her bed, sit down on the edge of it and start a polite conversation about horses and dogs ;

* buy your own cigarettes ; the reason one of the former "visitor" was caught, was because he tried to "borrow" one of Prince Philip's own cigarettes...she picked up the phone and called the "security"...and they came !

Another "visitor" had just a polite and nice conversation with Her ; what happened with all the "visitors", you can imagine...no need for a drawing :p


60. Go hunting ....Yeti in the Himalayas


The Himalayas...the highest mountains in the world and bloody dangerous, we all know this. Nothing new. But Yeti...is it a myth or it does really exist ?
To find out, there is only one way : go and find it ! It's important and make sure you do not forget : warm clothes ! the rest, I mean climbing, it goes without saying. :rolleyes:

Yeti or Ban-manche ( "forest man") or Kangchenjunga rachyyas ( "Kanchenjunga's demon") as it is called by the Nepalese people, the "locals" all say it is a huge hairy ape walking on 2 feet.
Latest, he / she was spotted on the flanks of Daulaghiri, west of Nepal, and the 5th highest mountain. A Japanese famous hunter, Yoshiteru Takahashi said he found a yei cave here, but when he wanted to take a picture, his camera froze. Everybody can say that, you included !
Then, he came back, and he could take pictures of foot prints.

Some people say they really met Yeti; normally, he / she runs away. But, some said they were helped by Yeti, when they were in trouble ( the chances to be in trouble up there are great ! you'll never miss one !), some said he / she was right hostile.
People who saw him / her, say it looked like a human being, a dark spot on the snowy background.
Footprints were in picture on the southwestern slopes of the Menlung Glacier, between Tibet and Nepal.

Anyway, your best chances are where the landscape is not reached by humans, high up ( 4 572 m to 6 096 m).
Avoid Everest, because there are very many crazy people, trying to commit suicide, by thinking AND trying to do what Edmund Hillary could do; for them, it's just another piece of cake! Very dangerous cake !;)


61. Bluffer's guide to the Great Barrier Reef

We all want to go and see it, snorkel there, just to see the gorgeous underworld.

All we know is, it's huge, it's coral...and if you are on a trip in Australia and you didn't snorkel there, you're "dead" meat, when you go back home.
Then again, if you are not interested or you are sea sick even on a boat trip, you can tell everybody a nice story. Like this :
* start your story by saying and describing it as one of the "great natural wonders of the world; and if you happen to have visited "Grand Canyon" or "Niagara Falls", make a "scientific" comparison ; ;)

* scuba diving is very popular, so you tell them you got first a training course ( these take several days, usually) and then you went out snorkeling;

* always include a shark encounter, but don't go too far...nobody will believe you're the only survivor of an attack of several GWS ( great white shark - see "Waltzing Matilda" post in the sub-forum "Australia); a sight of a reef shark from 50 m will do ;

* if you've been to the Reef, it's almost sure you've gone on a boat trip; for your story, use a glass-bottomed boat, and then you can accentuate on the " myriad of marine life on the Reef " ;

* if you want to push it further, say you went to the " Great Barrier Reef Marine Park ", off the coast of Cooktown.

Now, a little more details you read in some book or overheard from other tourists, and your story is ready ! DON'T : blush, sweat, forget scientific words and get nervous. Then, your story and effort are worth nothing ! :p


62. A world - class hobo

A "hobo" is not to be mistaken with a "homo", even if they are both human beings with equal rights. A hobo is a person who is roaming around, has no permanent domicile or job ( not bad...!!! :p - Gecko); and still, he is prepared to work some time to support his free life style.
But, if you are fortunate ( I mean, you have money) and skilled, you still have to use all your resources to have a nice sleep and a decent meal; otherwise, you'll turn up in a beggar.
Planning is required...yes, I know, but in our days everything needs a forward planning ! ;)

* Your skills - not necessary manual work, like fruit picking, dog walking, cooking, cleaning or farm labour; think more "style" like writing, running a good website, house-sitting, a prperty caretaker...think about any job that allows you to a rent-free living in exchange for services ;

* Give and take - like in "having friends"; make up a list with all your friends and tell them your visit will be short because you have no time; reaction ? they will insist for you staying longer, and you'll stay, of course ! ;) If you don't want to abuse their hospitality, do some job to thank for their kindness.
Or, find a social networking group like the "Freemasons" or "Rotary International"; show up at one of their meetings, anywhere in the world and you'll never regret it !

* Mobility - forget walking or train riding; buy a cheap car - you have a place to sleep if you are in need, you can drive to find a suitable job and it gives you FREEDOM ! a bike is cheaper, but you can not sleep in it...got it ?

* Your life as a hobo

- you and only you decide over your life ;
- when in a town, respect the local laws and be always a gentleman ;
- don't take profit on someone who is in a difficult situation, "locals" or other hobos ;
- try to find work, even if it is only for a period of time, and take jobs nobody wants; if you do so, if you return to the same place again, you are almost sure they will employ you again ;
- accept help but do not misuse it; it will help you or another hobo-fellow ;
- respect nature, take your trash with you ;
- stay clean and wash up whenever you can ;
- help your hobo-fellows ; you might be yourself one day in need !

63. Make a trip in style !

Unless you are related to Al Capone, you probably make one top-trip in your life...if so, do it at least in style !
Don't spend your money on a junk car; economize on other things and buy something that will represent you.

* Tinted windows - they "talk" about narco, illegal activities ( e.g. Maffia orientated), but besides all this, they protect you and your fellow travellers from UV rays, heat and staring ( but not from shooting );

* Rims and Tyres - the chrome spinning rims are always a shot, because they spin even if your car is standing still; for performance and less fuel, choose aluminium alloys; the rims must be bigger than the original ones, as bigger wheels look radical;

* Stobe under the car - if you install under-car neons, you can be 100 % sure that the cops will get you stopped by side. Instead, install a switch and when you "smell" the "danger", switch them off. Easy, isn't it ?

* In the trunk - fill it with as many woofers and sub woofers as you can fit in and turn up the volume until every screw on the chassis worked itself loose.

This is real style, don't you think so ? ;)

64. Run the Cheese at Cooper's Hill - Brockworth ( UK )

It looks like this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGGs1S35HO8


It's an old festival, some 200 years; the place is Cooper's Hill, near Brockworth, about 6 km southeast the city of Gloucester. It is normally held during UK's Spring Bank Holiday Monday.
You don't need to fill in any papers, just go and chase the cheese and amuse the spectators.
As you might have seen, the hill is steep and an ambulance is always at ready. The ambulance is never just for the show; every year they have enough work ;)

There are 5 official races, at 20 minute intervals and then several unofficial just for " fun runs". But you can choose for an up-hill race ( there are several), less dangerous.
You saw how it goes. The cheese reaches the bottom in about 12 seconds; the person who finishes the finish line first, wins the cheese. But there are second- and third-place prizes as well.
There are no tactics involved and no training you can do.
Head over heels is your best bet; if the ground is muddy or slippery, you can slide the last part of your race to the finish line, where "catchers" will get you.
Got it ? ;)

65. Travel to dangerous destinations

You'd be nuts to go there and you know why. But who can say " Been there, did that" ? Your friends will look up at you or they'll make a sign and leave you saying " you're a liar".
But anyway, if there is no other destination worth to be visited by youanymore, try these :

* Pakistan

- exotic name, isn't it ? Here you'll be the target, but the top is along the borders, where the tribes fight for the nuclear weapon. If your life is not worthy for you anymore, the chance you'll loose it is pretty great.

* Haiti

- this country is more exotic...Carribean Islands...but almost a lawless country. Outside of the tourist resorts ( N.B. - ik heb nog geen aanbieding gevonden als " all-in" vakantie in Haiti...je ? :p - Gecko), it's the law of the jungle...pretty much like the Old Good Time of Wild West !

* Liberia

- the war is over, but the UN peacekeeping force is still there; if you go there on a holiday, you'll find crimes, like theft, rape and murder. Plenty of choice, anyway ;)

* Chad

- here is not bad; the ethnic groups are fighting...your hazard : be robbed; it happened to you before, isn't it ? no big deal :D

* Sudan

- the US says they are sponsoring terrorism, for a long time ; the most dangerous region is Darfur, but you knew that...old news.

There is still one place worth taking risks : Gaza Strip. There, everybody is busy killing each other, I mean the Jews killing the Palestinians with real bullets and tanks, while the Palestinians are barely armed, mainly with stones...

66. How to look tough in a less "christian" neighborhood

Sometimes you have no choice, for sure if you book your hostel in the wrong side of a ( big / small ) town or you are simply in the wrong place, at the wrong time. So :

1. Your clothes might send wrong signals, like "mug me"...expensive clothes, a Rolex ( but then you're definitely not a backpacker !), a Louis Vuitton suitcase ( not for backpackers), a tie ; dress accordingly for people to see there is no use to loose their time where is nothing to be found ;

2. Walk like ...say...someone able to handle a fight without having any trouble at all ..hands out of your pockets, upright, shoulders back and chest out ; if you try to "minimize" yourself, you "tell" them that you are a weak and easy target ;

3. Wear a hood over your head, to hide your face partially ( you still need your eyes to look left and right ;), just in case...) ; if they can't see your face, you are less "attractive" as a victim ;

4. Look every person passing you by straight in the eyes, but just for a second; otherwise it looks like confrontation and it's not "healthy" for you ;

5. Talk to yourself, in a low voice, and now and then cry a word out ; so wat if they think you're insane ? at least they leave you alone ;

6. IF all above didn't help and you are confronted, stay calm, don't show any fear and keep eye contact; tell them calmly that nobody will be hurt if they let you mind your own business; if this is of no use, stay calm, look in their eyes and tell them you've just got out of a long prison time and you don't want to murder again ;

7. If all above still is of no use, hit them hard and fast; if not, they'll hit YOU first; empty a can of pepper spray in their faces and then run like hell.

67. Avoid boring and too talkative people while travelling

There are few tortures worse while traveling than sharing a place with a talkative stranger. Or you can say " nutcase on the bus".
Why they develop such a "oral diarrhea" when they sit next to you ?! Because :
- they feel lonely ;
- you look nice ;
- they want you to meet Jesus Christ ;
- your hair is burning ;
But, never mind, you can still "escape" and here is how you can do it :

1. crawl on your hands and feet, pretending you lost your lenses, wallet, a very important backpackers needle, a precious milimeter big coin, a ring,....so he/she/they will know you'll not be available until further notice ;

2. wear headphones with your eyes closed - everybody will think you are asleep / listening deeply to your music ; no headphones ?! take an apple, banana, whatever fruit and keep it against your ear and shout "YEEEEEESSSS! Oh, Jesus, they scored !!!!! or anything like this ; people will stay away from you, thinking either you are nuts or a football fan with a design radio. If you are very lucky, you might be the "owner" of 2 empty places...Isn't it nice ? :twisted:

3. pretend you are a mormon and keep using this name in every sentence : Donny Osmond....loudly ; ( Don't ask me who is this person, I know as much as you know about it) ;

4. talk or invent a new language, smile like an idiot, shrug and take your mobile and start talking in your new language;

5. adopt the safety position : your knees up to your chest and hold them with your arms; take your head in your hands and start rocking back and forth ; this is your last escape.

Good luck ! ;)

68. Play the researcher and try to find a hidden tribe in the Amazon

"Dr. Livingstone, I presume ?! " and his grandchild lives in Muy Né, Vietnam ( N.B. - I'll be there in 2 months - Gecko).

This just for you to know and link it to discovering hidden tribes, like Dr. Livingstone & H.M. Stanley did.

It is said that there are about 100 hidden tribes, scattered around the world, most of them in the Brazilian and Peruvian Amazon. Also, you can vind some of them in Bolivia, Paraguay, Ecuador and Colombia. If you travel to Indonesia, look for the in western Papua and on North Sentinel Island, in the Indian Ocean.
Nowadays, they are threatend by logging, oil exploitation and so on.
If you are lucky to find one, don't expect to a party given in your honour...you are simply NOT welcome; why?! because they protect themselves from the outter world.
How to discover one ! Simpel :
* traveling 3 weeks on a river, then bushwhacking through dense tropical jungle - the most hostile environment in the world, after the Poles ;

* don't grab the vines bare handed; they might have thorns and you can lacerate your palms; but indeed, like in the Tarzan movies, there are vine which can supply you with drinking water;( N.B. - you forgot to take water with you ? you might still be alive in 2 days, no more; I know this for a sure fact from a guide in Indonesian jungle - Gecko); if the juice is red, yellow or milky, drink a Diet Cola instead ;

* many kinds of poisonous snakes are small, but beside these, threats are coming from tiny insects, infected cuts or bites ;

* drink plenty of water and go to the "bathroom" before you go to sleep, to avoid the big chance to be bitten by malaria infected mosquitoes; ( N.B. - recently, they found 3 NEW forms of malaria...there is no medicine against it yet..and it is lethal, as you know, there is no doctor or hospital in the jungle, I'm positive ;) - Gecko ) ;

* if you see a freshly hacked sapling, dangling by a piece of bark lying across your "path", this means a warning to stay away, and they mean it ! ;

* if you get sick on the way, even a common cold, turn back ; the tribes are not resistent to our viruses, for them is a possible death sentence.

Have a nice trip !

That's All, Folks ! :)





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Gecko

Well-Known Member
50 ultieme gevaarlijke en bizarre trips

This is real STUFF !

Dus :

* Vliegen in een straaljager
- je kunt het doen op verschillende plaatsen in Europa en in de VS, al heb je geen ervaring; meer info op www.migflug.com ;

* Snowboarding op een vulkaan
- op de flanken van "Cerro Negro" in Nicaragua, tegen 80 km/uur ; meer info op www.bigfootnicaragua.com ;

* Zwemmen met de crocs
- in de "Crocosaurus Cove", in Australië; een dunne laagje plexiglas tussen je en de "lieve" crocs ;)

* Wandelen op de berg Hua in China
- een wandeling op 2 160m hoogte; het ziet zo uit :

* 5 270m boven Las Vegas en schommel maar....waar ? op "The Stratosphere Tower" in Las Vegas.

* Zapcat powerboating
- ofwel racen boven het water...tja het is vliegen en varen tegelijk; het is mogelijk in de V.K.; meer info : www.redletterdays.co.uk ;

* Op de rand van de CN Tower in Toronto wandelen
- het duurt anderhalve uur op 356 m hoogte; meer info : www.edgewalkontower.ca

* Een skydive maken boven Mount Everest
- het is gemakkelijk dan klimmen, niet waar ? site : www.everest-skydive.com

* Bungee boven de Nevis River in Nieuw-Zeeland
- dit is de hoogste plaats om te jumpen ; site : www.bungy.co.nz

* Dive eens in "Dean's Blue Hole"
- het is een gat 203 m diep; je gaat de zeebodem niet kunnen geraken; site : www.verticalblue.net

* Ga op de achtbaan in "Fuji-Q Highland Amusement Park" in Japan
- je valt vanaf 43 m hoogte in een hoek van 121° naar beneden; site : www.fujiq.jp

* Lekker zorbing
- je neemt plaats in een grote opblaasbare bal en dan...snel naar beneden ; site : www.zorb.com

* Waterbuffelracing in Indonesië
- je hoeft niet mee te doen, kijken is zeker de moeite waard; in oktober, in Negara (Bali) ; site : www.blog.baliwww.com

* Je en de stieren in Pamplona : meedoen !
- zorg dat je, in juli, bij de Festival van San-Fermin aanwezig bent; achter je komen 15 stieren; de straatjes van Pamplona zijn nogal aan de smalle kant ; site : www.pamplona-spain.com

* Racen met je bureaustoel
- in Bad Koening (Duitsland), gaat je naar beneden, tegen 35 km/uur ;

* Met je kajak op een waterval
- op een rivier is het niet moeilijk , maar op een waterval...het is een andere koek ; als je lef genoeg hebt, dan is het mogelijk in Idaho en Washington (VS) ; www.parks.wa.gov

*Zandmarathon in Marokko
- de marathon is 254 km lang en het duurt 6 dagen; het is de zwaarste wandel/looptocht ter wereld; als je niet top fit bent, vergeet het (een paar jaar geleden zijn 2 deelnemers die de marathon niet overleefd hebben; site : www.darbaroud.com

* Rijden bij de profs
- op de Nurburgring, tussen april en november, kun je racen op een F-1 circuit in een BMW M3 ; site : www.nuerburgring.de

* Boven Cappadocië in een luchtballon
- dit is de oudste en de mooiste reis voor dit stuk Turkije

* Met de raft op Zambezi Rivier in Zambia
- Zambezi is een categorie 5 rivier; de kenners zullen het weten wat het betekent; site : www.orangeriverrafting.com

* Dinner in the Sky
- het is niet nieuw meer...op 50 m hoogte je eten nuttigen ; site : www.dinnerinthesky.com

* Beklim "The Harbour Bridge" in Sydney
- de kortste klim duurt 2 uren, de langste 3,5 ; site : www.bridgeclimb.com

* Zwemmen met GWS ( zie "Waltzing Matilda" in het sub-forum over Australië) in Zuid-Afrika
- het is bijna nergens mogelijk, maar in Zuid-Afrika wel ; site : www.cpepointtroute.co.za

* Een tocht "in the eye of London
- De tocht helpt je om je hoogtevrees te bedwingen; het is maar 135 m hoog en als bonus krijg je een magnifieke zicht over Londen ; kijk :

* Neem deel aan de "Patagonian Expedition" - Chili
- dit is voor "die hard" 's ; site : www.patagonianexpeditionrace.com

* Springeeeeeen !
- niet voor beginners; vooraf wat voorbereiding geëist ; site :

* Duiken in ijskoud Water
- zoals in Finland, Rusland en andere contreien ; probeer eens :

* Bezoek en "air swim" boven een ongelooflijk mooie kasteel - zuid Duitland, Neuschwanstein
- het kasteel is een juweel, 'been there' ; site : www.abschweb.net

* Bossaball
- vereisten : een immense trampoline, kennis van volleybal, voetbal, aerobics en capoeira ; site : www.bossaballsports.com

* Zip lines trekken
- de langste zijn te vinden boven Amazonewoud en in Zuid-Afrika ; site : www.zip2000.co.za

* Rennen voor een rondje kaas
- de kaas wordt naar beneden gerold vanaf 200 m hoogte; site: www.cheese-rolling.co.uk

* "Going Gliding"
- de beste plaatsen zijn in Chattanooga, Tennessee en Rio de Janeiro ; site : www.goingonglide.com

* Racen met een riksja in Indië
- deze zotte race houdt men in India om de 3 jaar en telkens op een andere parcours, en het is redelijk gevaarlijk ; site : www.theadventurists.com

* Met de kajak in de kou
- dit wordt gehouden in Antarctica, op zee; op het eerste zicht is niet gevaarlijk, maar je moet wel zorgen dat je niet in het water belandt; temperatuur van het water ? je wilt het niet weten...:p

* Duiken in de grootste aquarium ter wereld
- d.w.z. " The Great Barrier Reef"; site : www.tourismwhitsundays.com.au

* "Devil's Pool", zeg je iets ?
- het bevindt zich hoog op de Victoria Waterval, op het randje van de afgrond ; site :

* Zou het gaan ? Zwemmen in De Dode Zee ?
- je kunt zelfs niet verdrinken ( yeeesss! prima, voor mij - Gecko:)), het is gewoon drijven ; kijk :

*Racen in de sneeuw
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. Sommige van deze bizarre trips zijn niet nieuw : zie boven bij "Straffe toeren".





Bron : Knack, 13.09.2012
 
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